I really don't know.

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Craal, Sep 24, 2012.

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  1. Craal

    Craal New Member

    I relapsed today. And I hate that.
    So, where to start? I don't even know.
    My name is David.
    I'm 19 years of age.
    And I'm Schizophrenic.

    I live in England, just outside of London.
    I didn't think I'd ever find myself on a website like this.
    But, I've not spoken to anyone about myself for 19 years. Not properly. I've spent the past 7 or 8 years, huddled in my room, drinking, and hurting myself.
    But, the best time for change is now, right? I guess.
    I don't know who I'm trying to kid, you guys, or myself. I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can cut out all the shit in my life. I don't know.

    I tried to kill myself today. Again.

    I don't even know anymore.

    Thanks for just spending your time reading such a diddy thing. I don't know if I'm going to be around on the site much longer.

  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    HI David good you are reaching out here hun Im sorry to hear you were so sad that you attempted today. Can you tell us what lead up to this.
    Have you talked to y our doctor hun perhaps your medication needs to be changed some.

    You are 19 hun my daughter not much older then you is stuggling with this illness as well The thing is hun she has had her medication changed and it seems to be helping her now

    There is always hope hun always new medication being developed There are many people with schizophrenia that go on hun and lead normal lives There are doctors lawyers ect hun so don't give up ok Nice to meet you David I hope you continue to just talk to us ok You are not alone in this hugs
  3. Craal

    Craal New Member

    Thank you for that reply.
    Uhm, well I have a habit of seeing things in movies, and sort of interpreting what's going on in the movie into a real life situation. I don't know why it happens. It just does. I was watching a movie, and watched certain things happened, and something just switched in my head. I went from calm and collected to a blubbering wreck in the space of 30 seconds.

    My doctor is an idiot. I told him about my issues, and that I needed something to help my sleeping, and he prescribed me allergy tablets, which was just plain stupid.
    I do think my medication needs changing though, 10mg of Olanzapine once a day doesn't affect me in any way, shape or form.

    Thanks again for the reply.
  4. letmedisappear

    letmedisappear Well-Known Member

    Hi David, it's nice to meet you :)
    I'm really glad you came to this forum. Like you said, the best time to change is now.

    Would you mind telling us a bit more about yourself? Feel free to post whatever you'd like here - we love to help and hear from everyone. I hope you'll stick around with us and maybe even find some help here. Hope you have a great day :)
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