I really just don't want to deal with it

[Phake Cafe` Scene]

Last January I broke down and attempted suicide three times. After I got out of the hospital, it seemed I was starting to get better. School started up again and I had met a wonderful boy named Hunter.

Just somewhat recently I've begining to feel suicidal again.

Just tonight Hunter called me to ask my permission to let him get high, and when I told him no, he got angry and upset. Then he told me that he wouldn't be able to see me tomorrow, and wouldn't give me a reason.

Now, thats honestly not the reason why I'm feeling suicidal...I guess it just "fueled the fire".

I don't know...I really don't want to have to live and face any of my challenges in life anymore.
But then I think about it...and I don't want to die, and miss out on things I know I would love.

But overall, I still want to, and the temptation is very strong. I'm too scared to do anything though. My parents locked the medicine cabinet and there's not way to get into it...so I can't try the way I want.

I don't know...I'm just lost, lonely, depressed and hurt. I guess I need a lot of help...because it goes a lot deeper than just this.

 

[Marshmallow]

hey you couldn't edit the font could ya, i cant really see what your pst says

 

[Allo..]

Hey.. so if thats not why, what do you think is making you feel this way again?

 

[Phake Cafe` Scene]

Hey.. so if thats not why, what do you think is making you feel this way again?

I'm not exactly sure...like I can't be specific about it.
I have severe depression in the first place...so I honestly can't help feeling a tad bit suicidal.

Anyways...I guess it's just because I have no ambition. I don't want to do my schoolwork, because I'm too tired and lazy and depressed. I've been getting irritated a lot easier and...I don't know...I'm just stressed and everything else.

It just seems like it would be so much easier, if I just ended it.
Then my family could be normal. (Since they said it was my fault that they weren't)

 

[Allo..]

No familys normal.. Normal is boring and theres no such thing as normal anyway.. how long have you been depressed for? what do you wanna change?

 

[Phake Cafe` Scene]

No familys normal.. Normal is boring and theres no such thing as normal anyway.. how long have you been depressed for? what do you wanna change?

I've been depressed since I was 6 years old.

And basically...I want to change everything ):

 

[Allo..]

have you tried?.. you gotta take it all one step at a time.. change on thing at a time..

 

[Phake Cafe` Scene]

have you tried?.. you gotta take it all one step at a time.. change on thing at a time..

Yeah...we've unfortunantly been trying ever since I was eight years old...(i'm not fifteen)...and nothing has really worked

 

[Allo..]

Try again..

Ever tried to find God?

 

[dark_thought]

Ever tried to find God?

:unsure:

 

[**BeautyIsThin**]

:unsure:

*Oh look*Dark Thought in slagging off/questioning people trying to help/support someone again shocker*

 

[Phake Cafe` Scene]

Try again..

Ever tried to find God?

I'm not really a religious person...I actually don't even like religion. I've had terrible expierences when trying to believe in things...so /:

 

[dark_thought]

*Oh look*Dark Thought in slagging off/questioning people trying to help/support someone again shocker*

If you have a problem with me Beauty, PM me. Stop spamming the forum.

 

[Allo..]

Ok. What about yourself do you like? And what is the thing you would like to change the most? What do you want to change it to?