Last January I broke down and attempted suicide three times. After I got out of the hospital, it seemed I was starting to get better. School started up again and I had met a wonderful boy named Hunter. Just somewhat recently I've begining to feel suicidal again. Just tonight Hunter called me to ask my permission to let him get high, and when I told him no, he got angry and upset. Then he told me that he wouldn't be able to see me tomorrow, and wouldn't give me a reason. Now, thats honestly not the reason why I'm feeling suicidal...I guess it just "fueled the fire". I don't know...I really don't want to have to live and face any of my challenges in life anymore. But then I think about it...and I don't want to die, and miss out on things I know I would love. But overall, I still want to, and the temptation is very strong. I'm too scared to do anything though. My parents locked the medicine cabinet and there's not way to get into it...so I can't try the way I want. I don't know...I'm just lost, lonely, depressed and hurt. I guess I need a lot of help...because it goes a lot deeper than just this.