I really need support right now

[Kaish]

I just got back from an hour and a half long session with my psychologist. Yesterday she called and said she wanted to see me today. She wrote up a contract that I have to follow. I know she cares about me, but it's just really hard because she says that if I do a certain thing (I really want to do) than she can no longer be my psychologist. I just don't know how to feel. I'm real confused and scared. I'm going back in a couple hours to talk to my therapist. I'm just so scared.

I guess I just need virtual hugs and support right now.

 

[Terry]

just take deep breaths and see how you feel after your appointment with your therapist.
It will all sort itself out, just take one day at a time :hug:

 

[hollowvoice]

(((hugs))) kaish

write everything your confused about down and take it with you to your therapist maybe she can answer some of your worrys

like terry says one day at a time ,you can do this xx

 

[total eclipse]

Hugs to you hun you just do what you can do okay talk with your therapist openly about your fears here for you anytime hugs

 

[Acy]

Please talk through all your concerns with your therapist. Are her conditions looking after your safety? What does she think you should do if you feel you can't keep that part of the contract?

As the others said, take it one day at a time. And please stay safe. Let us know how things are going. :hug:

 

[distress]

All the best and a :hug: for you. This is for the best

 

[Kaish]

I just got back from my therapy session and I really don't know what to do. I feel like my only option is to appear that everything is okay, but in reality buy the things I need in order to kill myself and do it. I just don't see any other option. It feels like I don't have any rights. The contract says that I'm not allowed to overdose on medication, harm myself, or buy the thing needed in order to kill myself. I just don't know what to do. I hate lying. That's my problem is that I'm completely honest. The contract also says that if I'm thinking of killing myself than I'm suppose to call them immediately, but the contract also says that I have to follow any recommendation they make towards me going to a mental institution. I don't want them to lock me up. I just have no options right now. I can't even call the crisis clinic because they would tell me to go to the ER. It hurts so much to lose all my support and I wish I could just kill myself right now.