So supposedly I'd left this site. I tried to cope by myself, and for the most part.. apart from the occasional hospital admission.. I managed, but right now I am not coping. I know I'm going to do something if I don't reach out for some help, hell the way I'm feeling right now even if I do reach out for help I'll still do it, but I need to try something. I am desperate. I'm sorry for coming back, but I'm really.. I really need help. I can't do this by myself. I will be shocked if anyone replies seeming as I have been a complete dickhead as of late, but please help me. I don't know what to do and I am freaking out. I feel so ridiculously close to just trying to end it, it never usually works for me, but the odds are if I keep trying it's going to work eventually. The only reason I'm slightly hesitant at the moment is because my worker is coming around in a few hours, and if I did something and it didn't work.. well, I don't want to be saved this time. I don't know what to say apart from I so badly want to quit, and I so desperately need your help, and I'm so sorry for being so weak that I needed to come back.