I am done with life, ive never been happy and I doubt I ever will. I fucked up my chances of socialising thanks to bad times being bullied for being too quiet and good natured at school and now I'm alone 24/7. I live with parents and they act as if I dont exist. I live in isolation and it's always been this way. There is nowhere to meet new people, I wouldn't know what to say anyway I havent spoke at all in years. I cant recall havin a long conversation in my life ever. I have been told im good looking by random people, even beautiful a few times yet I've never had a girl. I dont know where to get one or how to go about it. No one would believe me the life that I live, its a non existent life mostly staring into space doing absolutely nothing. I cant find work, im done with college.. there are no groups to join. im fucking sick of people on forums suggesting this as THERE IS NONE. I live in a fucking shithole where there is nothing to do. Ive been in MH twice and attempted suicide twice, my life was exactly the same then as it is now. I have nothing and noone. This is not being selfish because i understand third world countries and how they have it 50000times worse, no need to bring that into the equation here. I cant take being alone any longer, and without friends, anyone to talk to, a relationship, a job, money, something to look forward to. Everyday is exactly the same, and its always been the same. I've watched people live their lives whilst mine has been on standstill since i was born. im fucking done now I dont have anything to live for, I never did and never will. I dont want things to be better when im 25 im too fucking old then, my "Best years" are gone. my life is over, its nothing but more misery if you havent made something at 21. im almost 23 now and experienced nothing in life. Im not scared of death anymore. I cant get a <mod edit nyjmpmaster methods>. I've been here countless times and nothing ever changes. Why should I even bother to think anything through? what is there to think about, nothing will get better and even if it will my best years are over..and they were not good years at all. I've just been fucked around picked on laughed at and ridicule my entire life yet I've never done anything bad to anyone else. I really fucking give up. There is literally no point in my existence anymore. Dont mention about therapists or doctors either they are a fucking joke. stupid fuckingf ****s know fuck all about the human mind other than what they think they do. fuck medication too its just gonna give you fucking brain damage and it does exactly that. I dont want you fluoride laden fucking poison you <edit nyjmpmaster>fucking ****s. im done with doctors and therapists and that route, it landed me in hospital twice and i received zero care it was fucking pathetic, they wouldn't have even realised if i committed suicide right there in the place. Yhea im fucking done now, al li want is company insted of being alone 24/7 but no one gives you a chance if they even briefly sense you have no fucking life whatsoever. i dont even know where to try so I fucking give up. Life is a waste of fucking time and I have no desire to put up with anymore being lonely.