This is my first post. I am really glad I found this place because I think posting will help to cement everything and make it all real. I think I have a pretty good plan in place because I've researched what appears to be the most fool proof method. I've got someone to look after my daugther whom she absolutely adores so I know she will have a good weekend. I've got a good cover story in place. My husband is out of the country for ten days with work. I've been thinking about it all for a while and the thing that stopped me before was the effect it would have on my daughter. Then my sister died after a short battle with cancer in July of last year and my niece and nephew who are both under five like my daughter, don't really seem to be affected. They haven't expressed any sadness at all. Kids seem to be very accepting when something changes and they talk about "Mummy up in heaven" in quite a matter of fact way. They do understand that she isn't coming back but it's just normal for them now. That has really given me comfort and the strength to go through with it. I checked my life insurance to ensure that my husband will get a payout. I've written my will and because my husband will have a lot of money when I check out, I've added a letter asking him to take our daughter to DisneyLand. She really wants to see the Princesses. Now I know I think I've laid it all out as best I can, I feel almost happy! The weirdest thing of all is that I really have a cleaning compulsion! My house is sparkling and I want to keep it that way all week. I've sorted out all of my paperwork, shredded the old stuff no one will need and made sure it's really tidy. I feel like I want to make sure the house is really clean because I don't want anyone to think badly of me. I know that is really odd because I shouldn't care, right?! I honest to goodness can't believe I've actually got up off my arse and done stuff I haven't done for nearly two years. This post has made me feel almost good about it all. Like I've accomplished something. Good luck to everyone.