i am ready and want to die but the only person is stopping me is my mother. So i am having to live but want to die therefore stuck in the middle. I can't wait to get out of here. Once my mother passes away i am soooo gone!! The problem is i'm a useless man. Can't keep up with the pace at work, no matter how hard i try. Asking stuipid questions not taking the initiative because i'm dumb. People are always doing slightly better and not breaking a sweat. Yet I'm always anxious worried about making a mistake and trying to do my best. I am a loser at everything and i suck! i deserve whats coming to me in the future by my own hands. So i want to be dead, where you are nothing. i know how it is to be done. Mother is the one and only person, i wish i could have her approval for my demise, but thats not gonna happen is it? i will most likely die by my own hands in the future its just a matter if time and the sooner the better.