I really want to do it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by coffee, Dec 21, 2009.

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  1. coffee

    coffee Well-Known Member

    ever since I remember my life. I was always thinking about killing myself.
    I clearly understood what death meant. No more me!!!

    ah... that sounds really comforting...
    I wish I was alone. No one to take care of... It's really hard that I have to keep myself alive so I can take care of ppl. I want to be happy, I want to live my life for myself. I wish I look forward to get up in the morning
    and enjoy being alive...

    I am really sick of crying. I don’t think I have any tears left. May be I should drink more water. Sigh……..

    I really wish I don’t have any heart to feel or brain to think. Mind as well, I should just die. I know exactly what to do and I know for sure it will work this time.
    Last time when I tried, I was young and I wanted to get attention from my parents. Well, I was actually quite disappointed that I woke up……

    I don’t know anything anymore…

    It’s even painful to breath…
     
  2. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    hi coffee

    :)

    Sigh! I know how you feel. Just feel fed up of life and yourself and everything! what do you think has caused you to start feeling this way in the beginning??

    Kate

    (((((((big hugs)))))))))
     
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    But even with all the pain there is something inside that wants to try and keep fighting, try to hold on. You're here. You're posting and reaching out. Keep holding on please. Talk about what is going on to make things so dark. Reach out cuz there are so many here that understand and want to help.
     
  4. Alliance

    Alliance Well-Known Member

    Survival instincts.

    I wish I didn't have them. I want to give up, but I'm too much a coward.

    Probably in my early teens I had my first thoughts of suicide, and now, 15-18 years later I still feel that way. I have always felt like suicide was my fate. I don't think there's any escaping that. I think it will be timing for me. I have one last shot at my dreams, and if that fails and if I also never find love and happiness, it's going to end at some point when I've felt like I've had enough.

    There's just a point to life being so bad that it would be better to not be alive. Certainly, some people would be much better off not living. I would rather be dead than crippled, horribly disfigured, bad permanent illness, homeless, or if I never find love and am alone forever.
     
  5. Scully

    Scully Well-Known Member

    Stay with us : )

    And get some help please, more help. There's always a solution, just you can't see it. :hugtackles:
     
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