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I regret burning my bridges.. sadly

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Angelo_91, Apr 26, 2011.

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  1. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    Im a fool, and a fool that dies alone just like villains in those movies that lose but the movie never shows what happens to them. They rot alone, and die a lonely life. I put myself in this position, but I never felt like I was ever on the same level as others.

    This can't be life, is this real life? Ill never figure out real love... I can't connect with people on a deeper level. I don't know what i've dug myself into. It's too late to rebuild the bridges, i left it burned for too long.

    What do I do now? I started a new fulltime job and I feel so distant from my co-workers who all seem to be normal. Im the black sheep in every group. Is it safe to say I am not from this world? Is Death, the only one who will sympathize with me?
  2. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    you are too young to die alone.
  3. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    i dont know what kind of bridges you ve burned is it family that you stopped seeing or friends that you pushed away or both ? or something different ? Its hard to say something useful when i dont really know the situation but the fact that you realise you have done this shows that whatever it is, you wish you could undo it. Ive done some really silly things ..some awful things and things i really really regret. You are not alone in that but the fact we regret them shows we are different people to who we were when we did them. Its never ever too late to turn things around. You may not be able to go back in time but u can go forward !
    much love :D
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm sorry you're feeling this way, :hug:
  5. Qu33n1

    Qu33n1 Member

    I know how you feel. I feel such a disconnect. I can function but not as easily as everyone else. It's weird, I feel as though I'm living in a parallel world, with different rules etc. I see things differently. Walk under a constant clod and I feel as though I betray my natural feelings of being down. Sometimes I feel as though some people look at me and they 'know'. So I try not to look at people and and I smile through my pain. So scared now cos the mental pain has turned physical. I can feel it in my body and I just want it to stop. Noone understands unless they're goi through it so there's noone to talk to. It's so lonely, and scary.
  6. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    The sad part is, I was the one who burned my bridges. I unlike most of you here, are here by my own self fault. I chose the different path, just so I could know what it would feel like. I can see most people here just wish they could be like others and fit in. But that is not what bothers me. It is the human emotion of loneliness that unfortunately no one can truely be content with. It stings you and you can't fight it back. All you can so is let it sink in, contemplate and then repeat.

    Some people act like they are happy alone, but they are lieing... or they don't understand the truth of being alone. Purely alone, where you betray your friends. The darkest form of alone, is one that could never be described in words.

    I guess this is the feeling all of the people around me try to avoid by surrounding themselves with "acts of life" or "lifelike people"

    I've always looked up to villains as they were always the ones to get back up, but also because maybe Ive been foolishly infatuated with the darkside...evil...decepticon. The scum of the world, the douche bags that hate on people for no reason. They are like that for a reason, and to me I find it such a beautiful art.

    I hope people can read what I just posted.... and understand.
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I burned all my bridges over twenty years ago and have been in total isolation all this time..My only friends are the ones I met here on the forum..I don't regret loosing everyone because they all used me and shit on me at the same time..I've got my dog and friends here.. Thats all I need..
  8. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Hey Angelo, you are not the only here to make genuine bad mistakes - I've made tons of them.

    When young we often think we have burnt bridges but maybe they just caught a bit of smoke damage or the facia is damaged. Hard to know as we generally move on and don't look back. If we never go back we will never know.

    When you feel OK in yourself - you can apologise to people whose lives you have maybe made a negative impact in. People change over the years and that person who you maybe treated bad ten years ago will have a drink with you now and let bygones be bygones.

    If YOU forgive others readily enough - then its a good start. If not, depends what they done to you as sometimes people can use you UNTIL you realise that you are not somebodies spare 'gofer' (go for this, go for that).

    If you are going to help someone, best to not expect anything in return unless you agree beforehand.

    PS If you were really a fool Angelo, no way would you be able to articulate it!

    We are all fools at times, but if we realise that hopefully people whose bridges we burnt will forgive us. All you can do is apologise - and sometimes, though its rare for me at least, that apology is not accepted.

    I've not so much burnt down bridges as bought them down with explosives!

    Even so, I've been back down those bridges - they get rebuilt - a bridge is just a connection with someone and its hard to connect with depression!

    So what treatment were you thinking about?

    Surely your not thinking this is the way things are?

    Good look and keep the faith.
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