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I Regret Not Going When I Planned Everyday

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Forgotten_Man, Jan 13, 2012.

  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Everyday that passes the stronger my regret of not offing myself in May 07 on the day I graduated college. Everyone says they are happy the didn't. Well I am not happy not happy at all. At least if I had died I would have been able to say I never experienced sex and companionship. I could have gone out being Misogynistic and not be a hypocrite.

    Next time I am living alone, in a couple of years I am going to pack up and be sure that when my kitty dies all my family has to do is toss my crap and throw me in the dumpster.

    It is funny a crappy job is not as bad when you are suicidal. I could probably keep at it until my cat dies. Not that I could get a new job. I am now seeing how stupid I am. Not one mid-level job has wanted to keep me around. I guess this is what happens when you get a dead-end job right out of college.

    There is no reason for me to try to do anything but keep my kitty happy, until she dies. Why waste my time learning new skills? Why waste my time doing anything. This time I have been destroyed. So I am giving up on everything. If I had a time machine I would go back in time and kill myself. Hell I would go back in time and push my mom down the stair and kick her in the stomach before I was born. Do everything in my power to keep me from existing.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 13, 2012
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You can still change the path you are on you are depressed get help for that depression You love your kitten that is one positive in your life add more positives okay first get help to stabilize your mood and then get up and move forward hun hugs
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I always talk about ending my life when my cat dies because she is an old kitty of 15. I know that my regret is valid. Because even with my mood stablized. I still feel the same way.