Empathy Only I relapsed pretty bad last night

[Sewicide]

Hi. Thank you for reading, if you do.

I got home after a 16 hour shift last night, smoked a cigar, got drunk, and hurt myself. I got drunk enough that I could do it without immediately stopping but also enough that I knew when to stop.

Today, I had to drive to meet someone to sign some formal papers about something and I had a panic attack. I started screaming in my car because it hurt so much to have a panic attack. I know it’s been building up because my anxiety has been so severe and then I relapsed so much last night...

My mind and body are at their noping point. Their done point. The point of no return. It’s scary to say this. I just need someone to know I am suffering. I am suffering so much. And no one knows besides my therapist, but I can’t even get a referral for a psychiatrist to go on stronger anxiety meds (I’m not on any right now) since the therapist is dragging their feet and won’t put the referral in.

please tell me someone sees me because I feel like I don’t exist

 

[Wispiwill]

You're not alone

 

[lost_in_a_fairytale]

I see you. I'm sorry you're hurting so much. Your feelings are valid, and you're a good person ♥
I hope things improve soon

 

[blueskyx]

hey, I see you. you exist, and you’re here. I hope things will get better soon, good job in getting through this

 

[KindaOtiose]

Hi. I can see you . I've never had an addiction but I know it must very hard to deal with. As for anxiety attacks, I know they suck. You must be hurting a lot right now and it's perfectly valid to feel like that. I hope things can get better for you .

 

[Walker]

Hello and welcome. We do see you and you're existing. I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad, that you're feeling like you're at the breaking point right now. A lot of people come here feeling similarly.
You can reach a large group of BPD folks here: https://www.suicideforum.com/commun...ity-disorder-what-is-bpd-signs-of-bpd.119246/
and also here :
https://www.suicideforum.com/community/threads/bpd-support-thread.156129/

 

[Sewicide]

Hello and welcome. We do see you and you're existing. I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad, that you're feeling like you're at the breaking point right now. A lot of people come here feeling similarly.
You can reach a large group of BPD folks here: https://www.suicideforum.com/commun...ity-disorder-what-is-bpd-signs-of-bpd.119246/
and also here :
https://www.suicideforum.com/community/threads/bpd-support-thread.156129/

Thanks, but it doesn’t give me the option to post

 

[Walker]

Thanks, but it doesn’t give me the option to post

Scroll to the bottom? What's at the bottom of the page?

 

[Sewicide]

Scroll to the bottom? What's at the bottom of the page?

I can only comment on the post. I can’t make my own post...

 

[Walker]

I can only comment on the post. I can’t make my own post...

Sure -- that's a thread that is already in progress.
I was just trying to point you towards some groups of people that are talking, collectively, about BPD.
Otherwise you can talk about BPD anywhere on the site and definitely here (where you picked) the Mental Health Disorders section.

 

[Sewicide]

Sure -- that's a thread that is already in progress.
I was just trying to point you towards some groups of people that are talking, collectively, about BPD.
Otherwise you can talk about BPD anywhere on the site and definitely here (where you picked) the Mental Health Disorders section.

Ah okay, thank you!!

 

[Walker]

You got it Let us know if you need anything okay? Anyone here will help you out with anything.

 

[worthless_loser]

Hello, I read your post.
I'm sorry you're struggling right now.
I don't have experience with addiction, but I hope things get better for you.
Here is a hug from me.