I was at Uni so depressed, didn't want to go on anymore. I was staying with friends who offered me a place to stay, I was so greatful! but it didn't end well! I went out to the sea, yep! that was it I was fed up! couldn't help myself anymore couldn't go on with my studies (I wasn't doing well anyway!). sat on the edge! no-one likes me evryones so fake, they dopn't really care I was obsessed with my fact that no-one liked me. I had so many people around me but felt totally alone. my grandmother died that year and hit my dad really hard and i saw him cry for the first time in my life. Tried to be there! I always try to be there for everyone else but no-one seems to really care about me! I feel like I sound selfish and needy but that was the first time I really let anyone help me and it was just sour! I had never asked for anything always there for others! The salty water splashed all over me I seriously thought that the sea was trying to pull me in another person caught up in its fun. I sat there things running through my mind, i was soaked and had to change the way i was thinking. I was soaking wet all over 'It was waking me up, It was waking me up, "come back, come back, get out of your hole!" I believe it was just trying to wake me up! on and off I have wanted to kill myself I am back at my low point again! but because I don't believe iin life after death, it becomes really difficult to because I know the pain I am feeling will def. go away If I did die but I wouldn't feel it. I want to 'live life to the full' but I can hardly move! I was molested when younger 7, I was (I don't know if I can call it kidnapped) but was taken away by a girl much older than me and beaten up really badly when I was just 5 years old! she brought me back to my parents saying she found me like that. I've been beaten continuosly by my mother, my dad has been around all my life and i do love him but he never helped me! people aroound me don't know this but I can't trust anyone. how can I help myself? anybody?