I remember having long baths when I was a child, floating on the water, staring at the ceiling and thinking... “Just as well I am only a child, imagine if I had been thrown into this world as an adult.... I wouldn’t know what to do, how to act. As a child, generally, people don’t expect you to know much about that. As a child, the possibilities are infinite, when you grow up (and that will happen in a long long time, like in fairy tales, fairy tales take place in an uncertain time, when you are a child, future is very much an uncertain time, time goes by very slowly, you don’t have much of a past, time stretches, no past, future is infinite, only imaginary), you could be anything...” Now I am sad. Now I feel like having thrown into this world as an adult. The possibilities are not infinite. You cannot be everything you would like to be. When you are choosing this, you are ruling out that. You have to make decisions. And live with then. I used to think, when I was a child, that in that very distant future, when I would have grown up, I would know what to do, I used to think that I would be wise by then. That I would have some answers by then. I could let my mind run freely, there was so much time to fantasize until I were a grown-up. Ah, and the ideal age was the age of fairy-tales princesses, when you turned 15 years old, all would be like a fairy tale, and live happily ever after (was there really an “after”? No. The story ends there. It says nothing else about after). At the time when you were 8 years old, you would play with your friends that you were sisters and that you were all 15. Sometimes, when I was a child, I fantasized about going to sleep for some years and wake up when I were 15. Being a child was not wonderful, sometimes not at all nice, but you still had the hope that things could turn out very well... you had all the future... something shapeless where all your hopes would be waiting for you.