I ruined it for myself.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by KK99, Nov 29, 2012.

  1. KK99

    KK99 Active Member

    Dammit!!! What did I do now?!

    I got into a relationship with a good friend.

    He was my friend for years, and I think I just fucked it up by sending him one, with just a little more than one month, maybe almost two, and a hand-written letter.

    That's all it fucking took.

    He's downstairs now, looking pretty mad.

    But I had to do it...

    I mean, we've known each other for a long time, & were in an official relationship for awhile, but not long.
    During this month, he decided to break up with me (the day before I went back to the hospital) - it was a very rash decision, under a few circumstances, and he didn't really mean to do it.

    So, we got back together after I came back from the hospital (a week after be broke up with me,) and that's when I realized that I did love him...but as a friend, not a boyfriend.

    It's terrible. I am truly disgusted with myself for dragging this relationship on for a few weeks, and I feel guilty, too.

    I know that what I did was for the better, but now I just fucked up everything.
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    If you know it is for the better than be secure and happy with that knowledge - hindsight is 20/20 as they say. You cannot change what you did before but you can do the right thing now and still be there as a friend and to support him as he gets used to thw new terms again. I obviously do not know if it will ever go back to being a close friendship you once enjoyed - but you were being a true friend and caring person for doing the right thing even if it was hard....

    Take Care and Be Safe

    Ben
     
  3. KK99

    KK99 Active Member


    You replied to my last post, too.

    Thank you for the advice! :hug:
     
  4. TheCamel

    TheCamel Member

    It's better that you ended it than keep on dragging it out. I was in a similar relationship with a long-time friend. It got dragged out, and then she ended it abruptly. Yes, I was mad at first. But it didn't take long for me to realize that, to save our friendship, the relationship had to end. We still talk, and our friendship is almost back to full strength, albeit with some definitive boundaries now.

    Give him some time and space, but remain truthful and try to avoid answering any questions he may have. Closure for him will help him and you move on, and hopefully salvage the friendship.
     
  5. CogitoErgoSum

    CogitoErgoSum Member

    One what? I don't think I understood this sentence : "- I think I just fucked it up by sending him one, ... " one what?

    It does suck! But know that you are far, very far from alone from having experienced this alone, I'd say in such a stretch that you indeed can't tell whether or not it's going to make your current and future relationship better or worse. Surely it will come down to you and the other?

    I wish you the best of luck and please update us on what's going on!
     
  6. Percarus

    Percarus Account Closed

    Well, I guess you did the right thing, and your conscience is telling you did through your writing...
    If he is truly a friend, and the fact that you two know each other for a long time, then it is extremely feasible that even if he breaks contact with you for a long time that mayhap an year down the track he will be eager to embrace your friendship again. It is within your right to reject him as a boyfriend if you want to, but I just hope you were very tactful and careful about the whole ordeal. Usually when I break up with individuals I make sure I find them a suitable boyfriend first so as not to break and destroy their feelings in isolation. Mayhap in your case you should help him attain a new girlfriend, it is the best way to mend a broken heart, that is, bring someone new into their lives – this way does not hurt anyone to a significant extent.

    You have no f*cked up everything yet... He is now single and in need of a friend that will see him through a very hard time. Don’t stress, just react. :-D