Dammit!!! What did I do now?! I got into a relationship with a good friend. He was my friend for years, and I think I just fucked it up by sending him one, with just a little more than one month, maybe almost two, and a hand-written letter. That's all it fucking took. He's downstairs now, looking pretty mad. But I had to do it... I mean, we've known each other for a long time, & were in an official relationship for awhile, but not long. During this month, he decided to break up with me (the day before I went back to the hospital) - it was a very rash decision, under a few circumstances, and he didn't really mean to do it. So, we got back together after I came back from the hospital (a week after be broke up with me,) and that's when I realized that I did love him...but as a friend, not a boyfriend. It's terrible. I am truly disgusted with myself for dragging this relationship on for a few weeks, and I feel guilty, too. I know that what I did was for the better, but now I just fucked up everything.