I sat at wal-mart for 45 minutes and contemplated killing myself.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Brandon Kwon, Apr 7, 2016.

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  1. Brandon Kwon

    Brandon Kwon Banned Member

    I went to wal-mart today to pick up a few things I needed, I felt pretty good going there, but I had to stay there for about an hour because I had to wait for the next bus. After 15-20 minutes of browsing around I sat down and thought...And thought...And thought...I eventually contemplated suicide. I just wished I'd die. My life has no meaning and that's all I want is just for my life to have some semblance of meaning. But it doesn't. And I don't know what would give it meaning. I just feel like I'm sitting around waiting for death.

    I don't know. I really have nothing to live for, but I guess I'll just go take a nap.
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    What about college? Or hope that things will get better. What about working or volunteering?
  3. Brandon Kwon

    Brandon Kwon Banned Member

    College, not really, I'll just end up scraping by or dropping out cause it's too hard. Hope that things will get better, been hoping that for years. Working...The idea of getting treated like shit for minimum wage again just makes me wanna kill myself more. Volunteering...I considered it but idk...
  4. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Life has no meaning intrinsically - the meaning in life comes from what we put into it. Waiting for it to suddenly seem important or have great value without putting something of yourself into it is not going to happen because "meaning" is different to all of us and the meaning that has value to you will only come from inside of you.

    Things like working - it is not about the job you get today or do today- it can be about what you would do with the money, what you would do with the extra social contacts you make while there, what doing it well will allow you to do in the next job and next and next until the job you go to has meaning- nobody starts out as the boss, and even an engineer or Dr or whatever starts as a junior engineer or interm with shit pay , bad hours, and once you calculate student loans sub-minimum wage often. Working is for what it brings in the future when you start out, not what the compensation is on friday. Deciding that college, work, and any other options are bad and choosing to do nothing gives little chance of any change, and even less chance of any change that comes about from being good or positive.

    Meaning comes from within a person- what they give of themselves causes things to have meaning to them. If nothing has meaning, the first place to look is what is the person giving of themselves. Maybe history has made you hesitant to give, but it is the only way to make things change and give things meaning in the end.
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