I sat up on the dock looking up toward the sky...

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by pittfall, Aug 13, 2009.

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  1. pittfall

    pittfall Active Member

    I wrote this many many years ago...

    I sat up on the dock looking up toward the sky
    my hands held the gun my mind wished to die

    I sat with my feet hung over the side
    trying like hell to swallow my pride

    No one to hold me No one ever came near
    my mind going crazy over excessive fear

    I knew the time had come my will worn away
    blindly forced to go no matter how I wished to stay

    A breeze hit my face as the sun slowly set down
    a gunshot rang out in my sleepy little town
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Again you write so well. A mood the setting the despair and loneliness. I hope this never comes to be. As you are not so alone anymore I enjoy reading your poetry.
     
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    wonderful! :heart:
     
  4. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    Profoundly expressed.

    :goodjob:
     
  5. DS

    DS Account Closed

    wow...
    very well expressed
     
  6. DS

    DS Account Closed

    ugh. i can so relate to this one...
    in my sleepy little town too...

    one shot
     
  7. Scully

    Scully Well-Known Member

    I realate a lot, well expressed.
     
  8. pittfall

    pittfall Active Member

    I am so relating to this poem right now.

    I sure hope my inner turmoil is making me stronger
    I feel that I have met my end...
     
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