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I saved my own life today

SamIAm

Well-Known Member
#1
A person I care a lot about sent me an email. I answered and it was returned, saying I’ve been blocked. I was like wtf so tried it again. Returned. I was feeling REALLY low because this person and I talked every day for over a year. I tried to end my own life tonight and it was really peaceful. I was like cool, this is so easy. Then I realized I can do it any time and it didn’t have to be today. I am a little scared at how easy it was for me but for now I’m still glad to be here. Has anyone ever been ghosted or blocked by someone they care about? It sucks and it hurts.
 

Walker

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#3
Hi notAloneanymore,
I'm sorry you were feeling so bad that you felt like you should so something so drastic over someone elses actions. Emails don't actually say "you're blocked" so I'm curious what it DID say. Email bounces when mailboxes are full and server issues and all kinds of shit. Did the sender make you think they were cutting you off in their initial message to you?? It just seems odd.
Anyway, yeah, the timing of this is funny actually and I bet this person walks by here to read this so I'm gonna make it the light version but I was talking to someone that I was pretty good friends with... I think? Or I thought? I dont know. Anyway, we were literally in the middle of messaging when email bounced. And like you, tried again, bounced. Tried again a few more times over some days thinking "well something must be wrong with that because no way could that just be them disappearing". Yeah, it was actually.
And you're right, man, it is pretty shitty and sucky. If your friend had just told you something before disappearing that would be one thing (and since I dont know what that initial message is I'm assuming that didnt happen) but just ghosting you is a drag. I'm sorry that happened but also, it's not worth dying for.
 

SamIAm

Well-Known Member
#4
Hi notAloneanymore,
I'm sorry you were feeling so bad that you felt like you should so something so drastic over someone elses actions. Emails don't actually say "you're blocked" so I'm curious what it DID say. Email bounces when mailboxes are full and server issues and all kinds of shit. Did the sender make you think they were cutting you off in their initial message to you?? It just seems odd.
Anyway, yeah, the timing of this is funny actually and I bet this person walks by here to read this so I'm gonna make it the light version but I was talking to someone that I was pretty good friends with... I think? Or I thought? I dont know. Anyway, we were literally in the middle of messaging when email bounced. And like you, tried again, bounced. Tried again a few more times over some days thinking "well something must be wrong with that because no way could that just be them disappearing". Yeah, it was actually.
And you're right, man, it is pretty shitty and sucky. If your friend had just told you something before disappearing that would be one thing (and since I dont know what that initial message is I'm assuming that didnt happen) but just ghosting you is a drag. I'm sorry that happened but also, it's not worth dying for.
Thanks buddy. It didn’t say bounced you’re right. It was returned and said no valid address. I was thinking this ‘“love of my life” blocked me! But damn they must have just changed their email address? Wtf??? That’s even worse. We were saying I love you to each other the other day. Hahaha if that’s love I’m staying alone man. By myself. Forever with the exception of you guys.
 

SamIAm

Well-Known Member
#5
Firstly, glad you're still here also.

and yeah, I've been ghosted in the past. Can indeed hurt, but a part of me said why tear yourself up over someone who doesn't give a shite?
Ash man what you said just hit home. Yes why tear myself up over someone who doesn’t give a shite???Thanks for making me think about it that way. It still hurts so damn bad though. I’m at my lowest tonight. But it does make me feel better knowing someone else went through this too even though you were hurt too. Life sucks sometimes doesn’t it? Whenever I complain about things one of my co-workers says it is what it is. So I guess I’ll have to reframe my thinking. Thank you for your support. I appreciate all you do here.
 

Ash600

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#6
Yeah I get it, it can still hurt like fuck. But who said life was ever gonna be smooth? You take the shit so that you can appreciate those good moments. If everything was continually beautiful, eventually it would end up as a numb existence. And this is not the time for Nirvanha man.
 

SamIAm

Well-Known Member
#7
Yeah dude hurts like fuck says it all! I actually need to laugh right now since if I keep thinking about it who knows what I might do next. You’re right Ash and Walker this persons actions isn’t worth me ending my life right now. I’m going to put a comedy on (no not a love story!) and just cheer myself up the rest of the night. And yeah Walker I was getting strong vibes in previous emails about taking it to the next level or forget it. I just never expected to get dropped like a dime. Damn some people are so cold. Glad I didn’t actually end up with this person. Maybe it happened for the best. Thanks to the both of you for cheering me up! I know I’ll get through this night and hopefully I’m learning!
 

Walker

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#8
oh so this is a girl girl. This does make more sense but still not worth killing yourself over. For some reason I was reading this as a purely platonic friend. Man, that is some shitty way of dealing with things. Doesn't it make you want to hunt down her social media and ask her mom what happened and maybe her sister too? hahaha DONT DO THAT. I'm only kidding. I just understand what you're feeling right now, my friend. I'm so sorry that happened. I don't want to tell you "who fucking cares?" or "why give a shit" because you do and that's important but it's not going to matter as much in a month, I can tell you that much for free.
Your plans for the night sound good. Put on a movie, have a beer, relax and take care of yourself. We'll be here waiting when you get back.
 

Ash600

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#9
Humour is always a good outlet, Alone04. Works for me, particularly dark humour but hey, that's me. One thing to bear in mind and that is to try and see things from a pragmatic viewpoint. It's best she dropped you now rather than somewhere further down the line as that would be time pissed up the wall when you could be with someone else who wishes to be with you.

One quick story, I got kind of dropped once at a bar. The waiter noticed what had happend and delicately asked if I wanted the bill. I said no, but you can fetch me 2 vodkas and an ashtray. She was still there, nonplussed but hey, why should I get all dramatic over it?
 

SamIAm

Well-Known Member
#10
Yea man a girl. Can you believe she broke my heart tonight? First time it’s ever been broken I hope it’s the last. Got the beer out and the whiskey too 🥃 (just in case). Dude I’m hurting. I actually feel like hunting down her Twitter and saying this is how you treat someone you LOVE??? What do you do to your enemies???? Fuck her. Thanks to you and Ash I’m almost over her 😂
 

SamIAm

Well-Known Member
#11
Humour is always a good outlet, Alone04. Works for me, particularly dark humour but hey, that's me. One thing to bear in mind and that is to try and see things from a pragmatic viewpoint. It's best she dropped you now rather than somewhere further down the line as that would be time pissed up the wall when you could be with someone else who wishes to be with you.
Lmfao🤣
One quick story, I got kind of dropped once at a bar. The waiter noticed what had happend and delicately asked if I wanted the bill. I said no, but you can fetch me 2 vodkas and an ashtray. She was still there, nonplussed but hey, why should I get all dramatic over it?
 

Walker

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#12
Yeah, screw it. Like Ash said, this is definitely a case of "better now than later". A year is a long time to go talking to someone before they ghost you. What the actual hell. I'm completely stunned by that. But yeah, let's not drink too much, okay? You'll fall into a crying spiral pit of despair and show back up in 4 hours clutching a beer and saying you want to die again.
 

SamIAm

Well-Known Member
#13
Humour is always a good outlet, Alone04. Works for me, particularly dark humour but hey, that's me. One thing to bear in mind and that is to try and see things from a pragmatic viewpoint. It's best she dropped you now rather than somewhere further down the line as that would be time pissed up the wall when you could be with someone else who wishes to be with you.

One quick story, I got kind of dropped once at a bar. The waiter noticed what had happend and delicately asked if I wanted the bill. I said no, but you can fetch me 2 vodkas and an ashtray. She was still there, nonplussed but hey, why should I get all dramatic over it?
Man that’s a cool attitude to have. She dropped you ..,so what...life goes on. I’m feeling it now. I hope to be over her by morning. Because you’re both right. Why should I end my life over someone else’s actions? It’s not worth it. I see it now. Hey Ash man thank you and Walker for cheering me up . I do appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. It was my darkest moment (aside from my parents passing away this year). I’m feeling a bit stronger now and just chilling. I wish I knew some dark humor movies?? I’m watching Blues Brothers but I’m probably going to need 2 or 3 more movies tonight.
 

Ash600

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#14
True, exactly what Walker says, don't drink too much. A couple of glasses as a "farewell and fuck off" send off will do. Just an idea, instead of hunting her down via Twitter to have it out with her, be nonchalant instead. A shrug of the shoulders can at times reverse things as she could be thinking "what? Is that it, just that reaction from him?"
 

Ash600

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SF Creative
SF Supporter
#15
I wish I knew some dark humor movies?? I’m watching Blues Brothers but I’m probably going to need 2 or 3 more movies tonight.
Blues Brothers is an awesome movie. Good starting point I say especially with some cracking tunes. Maybe movies involving Jay and Silent Bob may help, such as Dogma?

Deepest condolencies for the passing away of your parents by the way.
 

SamIAm

Well-Known Member
#16
Yeah, screw it. Like Ash said, this is definitely a case of "better now than later". A year is a long time to go talking to someone before they ghost you. What the actual hell. I'm completely stunned by that. But yeah, let's not drink too much, okay? You'll fall into a crying spiral pit of despair and show back up in 4 hours clutching a beer and saying you want to die again.
Ok buddy I promise...just a few beers and I’ll forget the hard stuff. You see what I mean though? A YEAR, I love you, let’s be together, then damn ...invalid email address. You said it best screw her. You know what Walker you and Ash did more for me tonight than you’ll ever know. I’m grateful for both of you being here tonight for me.
 

SamIAm

Well-Known Member
#17
True, exactly what Walker says, don't drink too much. A couple of glasses as a "farewell and fuck off" send off will do. Just an idea, instead of hunting her down via Twitter to have it out with her, be nonchalant instead. A shrug of the shoulders can at times reverse things as she could be thinking "what? Is that it, just that reaction from him?"
You’re killing me 🤣 with that humor. Hahaha farewell and fuck off. Hahaha I love you man🤣
 

SamIAm

Well-Known Member
#18
True, exactly what Walker says, don't drink too much. A couple of glasses as a "farewell and fuck off" send off will do. Just an idea, instead of hunting her down via Twitter to have it out with her, be nonchalant instead. A shrug of the shoulders can at times reverse things as she could be thinking "what? Is that it, just that reaction from him?"
Yea buddy I’m going to try just shrug my shoulders and act wassup? Good advice. I got my pride too you know??
 

SamIAm

Well-Known Member
#19
Blues Brothers is an awesome movie. Good starting point I say especially with some cracking tunes. Maybe movies involving Jay and Silent Bob may help, such as Dogma?

Deepest condolencies for the passing away of your parents by the way.
Dogma up next. Thanks so much buddy for your kind words of sympathy. I got to thinking about them tonight and then the crap started rolling downhill. And then I found myself in a place I hope I never go back to. Thanks man ...and Walker mean mean more to me than you’ll ever know tonight
 

SamIAm

Well-Known Member
#20
True, exactly what Walker says, don't drink too much. A couple of glasses as a "farewell and fuck off" send off will do. Just an idea, instead of hunting her down via Twitter to have it out with her, be nonchalant instead. A shrug of the shoulders can at times reverse things as she could be thinking "what? Is that it, just that reaction from him?"
I promise buddy ... just a few beers and that’s it. I do listen to you guys. Trust me.😉
 

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