I saw someone die

[Glasgowgirl]

Hi all, this is the first time I've ever used a forum like this and I'm not too sure what I want to say, but here goes. 2 weeks ago I witnessed a man <mod edit - methods>I cannot believe I watched someone die. He was a stranger who has changed me as a person forever. I cannot imagine the pain he must have been in during those final moments, but also I can't cope with the absolute horror of what I saw. It was so violent, so terrifying and so very sad. I will never know his name or what led him to that point, that makes me very sad. I feel like I am in a fog, I am anxiety ridden <mod edit> I need to get past this but don't know how. Thanks for reading x

 

[Unknown_111]

Welcome to the forum. I am sorry you witness pass away. No doubt you are in shock. Your whole world is turned upside down. Please do try to think about the different outcomes from the flashbacks of the events. It's must be so distressing to deal with on your own

You cannot change the past but try to move on with it. Have you told anyone in person rather than dealing it on your own. You have joined a supportive group who will help you.

You need to speak or get medication to cater with such trauma. It's going to take time to recover. Please do not feel responsible as I do not know the circumstances of situation.

You are important and you need to be kinder to yourself. You no doubt feel at a low point but let's us you get through today.

Your are no longer alone as you have shared it with us. Keep posting here for continuous support and be safe.

 

[Unknown_111]

Sorry I missed my words and meant to say do NOT think about the flashbacks. I'm so sorry about this.

 

[Petal]

Hi Glasgowgirl,

Must have been such a frightening experience for everyone involved. I must ask though, were you suicidal before this happened?
I think it would be a good idea for you to see your doctor for the shocking and saddening feelings you're overwhelmed with.

 

[Glasgowgirl]

Thanks so much for your kind replies. I have seen my doctor and I have various medications to help with the anxiety. I've also begun counselling with a trauma specialist. Trying to manage 1 day at a time. I am planning to go back to the place where it happened, which is a very popular tourist spot in order to say a proper goodbye to this man. One thing I realised is that I do not blame myself as I had no time/opportunity to stop him however I feel guilty that I couldn't find it in myself to sit with him after he had passed, until the emergency services arrived just so that he wasn't alone, even in death. The scene was very distressing and violent but i still wish I'd gone and held his hand. Instead I screamed and screamed and screamed until someone turned me away.

 

[Acy]

Hi, Glasgowgirl. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Few people are geared to respond to situations like that with the kind of "detachment" that would allow them to override their shock and do something other than scream, faint, go numb. Please, don't feel guilty. You let people know something had happened - you screamed. That's enough. You did enough under the circumstances. :hug: I'm glad you saw your doctor and are getting support from some trauma counseling. I'm sorry you experienced this. :hug:

 

[DrownedFishOnFire]

Its pretty truamtic to witness violent act like this. No one reacts the same. Its just being a human that you have remorse or guilt.

It will be more messed up if you didnt feel anything and went on with your life.