I see little that can keep me going

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by randomguy9, Nov 11, 2011.

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  1. randomguy9

    randomguy9 Put's the "Pro" in Profanity Chat Pro

    Even when things go well in one area, it is a small picture thing... and the big picture is still pain.

    I spent most of today in bed... thinking... and realized that a week has not gone by without thoughts of suicide going through my head... and everytime I decided not to do something about it I have regreteed it later...

    Things are not changing... mylatest kee going for thing has blwon up in my face.... either it turns around, or I find a great career path soon or I don't think i will make it to my next birthday... I dont want to go through that again
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    You have to build on your small successes, I know that its hard but use them as a foundation. Set yourself small tasks maybe that you can use to show yourself that you can do things well.
  3. Constantinos

    Constantinos Well-Known Member

    I want you to think more of the positives rather than the negatives, each achievement is very important it doesn't matter how small or big it is. Th big picture will need time and patience to completely change.

    YOU should feel very happy about this, this is an very positive achievement - all i can say is WELL DONE!

    Things will change slowly but surely
  4. randomguy9

    randomguy9 Put's the "Pro" in Profanity Chat Pro

    The Negatives outweigh the positive 100-1 right now... I have less chance for change then anyone on this planet right now...

    Spending a day in bed... or failing to do so is not an achivement.

    Things have only changed for hte worse in the last 4 years... not a damn thing ever gets better
  5. Constantinos

    Constantinos Well-Known Member


    Do you think you can make a list of the negatives and the positives? Think of your whole life - making this list will help you - if you want you can paste it on this post also.
  6. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    I started college courses about a month ago to get my degree in medical assisting, later on I'd like to try to become a PA.. If you want a great career, may I ask what is standing in your way??

    I have very little money where I am on social security, but they are going to let me pay for all of this after I start working, and the payments will be low.

    Thinking whether I could do it or not, I thought I couldn't.. I have dealt with chronic fatigue & pain (severe), dementia, severe congenitive issues, nerve problems, so on and so on..

    I still have one assignment to be graded for the month, but so far my overall grade for my first course is 96%.. Now I know for a fact, if I can do something like this, anyone can!

    I have dealt with depression for 11 years, I have crossed that line and made many suicidal attempts. I had convinced myself that I did not want to live anymore.

    Sometimes I ask myself why I bother trying, but I am doing this for me,, so whatever shit is going on around me, I'm not going to let it stand in my way.

    My problem is based mostly on how people treat other people, and I don't like how most of the people in my life treat me. The importance in life are the people that are in your life, and when they can't be good to you, it makes life rough. I wonder if I was ever meant to be happy.. I just hope that someday I can be.
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