I seem to lack the normal sex drive

Discussion in 'LGBTQIA (New Forum)' started by Mordeci, Oct 8, 2010.

  1. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    I am going to try real hard not to come off as pretemtious is this post but it might be unaviodable. Since I was young I seemed to have lacked the sex drive as my male and possiably female counterparts. When I was 14 and my peers were trying to get laid, I wasn't, when I was 18 and in college and my roommate needed the room, there was an unspoken knowleged that it would never be an issue with me. I am 23 now and I just came back from a party at a bar where people were trying to hook up, the thought never crossed my mind. It's not that I am sexually confused, I know I am a heterosexual male and I have been attracted to woman at times, but never in excess, truth is the idea of sex disgust me, I have seen pornography and I can't understand how two people would willingly do thoese things (I mean missionary, nothing kinky). But when I am lucky enough to get involved in a conversation (with men) it always turns to sex or attemtping to get sex, no talks of movies, news, politics, or just basic going on's of the day, just sex. I guess if I had to put a number on it my sexual intrest is a 2 out of 10 when I would charcateize the majority of the population as 8 out of 10 in being sex obsessed. I don't know if it is physical, chemical, psycholgical, or a combination of the three but my sex drive is limited at best.
     
  2. PollyAnna

    PollyAnna Account Closed

    Are u religious at all?
     
  3. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    No I am an athesit and pretty anti relgion to boot.
     
  4. PollyAnna

    PollyAnna Account Closed

    tried pills?
     
  5. Dragon

    Dragon Staff Alumni

    Hi Mordeci.

    Aside from being female, I am exactly the same as you. I do not and have never had any interest in sex and in fact find the idea of it mentally disturbing. I had blood tests to check my hormones and I'm completely normal, so the likelihood is, you're perfectly normal in this regard as well.

    Unless you feel that it's impacting negatively upon your life, there's no need to try and fix what isn't broken :)
     
    Spottheshark likes this.
  6. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    It's not a perfomance issue, sex drive might have been the wrong word to describe it, sexual intrest might have been more apt, truth is I never even been with a woman partly because of a confidence isssue but also because it seemed like to much of a hassel to try.
     
  7. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    Thanks I don't feel negativly impacted, in fact I see it as more of a advantage because I can enjoy music, art, thearter, and stuff like that on a higher level because I am not so obsessed with sex. It's just that it leaves me out of the loop. i have bad social anxiety and I am trying real hard to try and overcome it and make friends but it kind of puts me at a disadvantage, kind of like that scene in the 40 year old virgin, they are all talking about sex and steve carell the virgin, has no idea what they are talking about so he has to fake it, in the movie they catch on quickly but I have been pretty good at lying so far.
     
  8. PollyAnna

    PollyAnna Account Closed

    Awee, don't feel bad. you're completely normal. Maybe you're just the type to love and not lust.Which makes you rare!! ;P Embrace that you're not like every other guy who wants sex. Girls love guys like you. Don't let your social anxiety get In the way of your next girlfriend xo♥
     
    Spottheshark likes this.
  9. Neuropedia

    Neuropedia Member

    That sounds pretty normal. Not like, average, but not unhealthy and you're not the only one. From the sounds of it you may be asexual and heteroromantic, meaning, you are romantically, but not sexually attracted to women. I've heard some really cute stories of couples like this and how they love eachother so much but never feel the need to have sex.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality#Romantic_relationships
     
  10. 1112222

    1112222 Well-Known Member

    While there is nothing wrong with you as some people just aren't interested in sex. But you shouldn't let porn be a reason why because the shit that you would see in a porn film is about as realistic as a purple and yellow coconut.

    But then again I can't fucking stand romance intimacy.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 8, 2010
  11. Krem

    Krem Well-Known Member

    Congratulations, Mordeci. Your time will not be spent in futile effort to please people just for sex. There will be far less drama in your life. You will not make a fool of yourself to impress women. You will not be manipulated as easily by women.

    I salute, and envy you.
     
  12. down-and-maybeout

    down-and-maybeout Well-Known Member

    i'd like to say i'm the same as the o.p.

    i lost my virginity at 22, not because i wanted to but to please the girl i was seeing at the time - up until that point i had genuinely not been interested in sex (although i too am a straight male), at school i wasn't interested in going on dates, i never longed for sex the way my peers did

    this of course has made me unpopular with girls, because the overriding desire that every girl seems to have in a relationship is sex, sex and more sex - i have no idea what happened to romance, trust, cuddles, sense of humour etc but they don't seem to exist any more, well not here where i live anyway!

    what annoys me is the stereotypical reactions that you always get from people - "oh you must be gay then" (no, i said i'm not interested in SEX, not that i'm not interested in girls)... "if you don't like sex you can't be doing it right"... "you obviously haven't found the right girl"... "are you religious"... "go see your doctor about it then"... "sex is a beautiful act with someone you love"... all this crap drives me insane because it comes from shallow-minded sex-mad people who just can't comprehend that there MIGHT be someone different from them in this world - and that's why i've posted here, because i find most of the replies to be quite a welcome break from the norm :)

    i certainly will not enjoy sex no matter who it's with (yes, i DID find the right girl once and sex cost us our relationship so i can speak with experience) - and no i haven't been "talking to the wrong girls" as so many try to say, i have enough experience now to know that the vast majority want sex and very little else

    i used to feel like some freak or outcast, but these days - and forgive me for saying this - but although i have nothing against anyone who wants to have sex, i do feel very sorry indeed for those people (and there seem to be plenty of them) who appear to have nothing better in their lives than sex
     
  13. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    Well my situation seems to have taken an intresting turn, I was feeling really bad this weekend and I had to end up calling a suicide prevention hotline, I basically told the woman on the other end my life story, including my lack of intrest in sex, and oddly enough she sugested online dating. Truth is I am considering it, I have no intrest in sex but I do have a need for romance (hand holding, cuddling, exc), but the fear of rejection is very strong and I am not sure how to approach the situation.
     
  14. 1112222

    1112222 Well-Known Member

    You could give online dating a shot but you should make it clear that what your looking for is just companionship and nothing sexual.
     
  15. jasonkramer

    jasonkramer Well-Known Member

    i second this.
     
  16. CheapEscape

    CheapEscape Active Member

    I, for one, think it's good you're not a typical perverted man with a one-track mind, like so many are. It's refreshing that you actually want to talk about politics and current events and meaningful things, instead of the next time you can get laid. You don't need to change that.
     
  17. RetiredSGT

    RetiredSGT New Member

    I realize this thread goes back in time, but, maybe what I have to say might help somebody.

    I personally believe that sex is normal. However, based on 71 years of life, during which I have had many sexual relationships, sex is also individual, just like chocolate ice cream.

    When I learned my wife did NOT like chocolate ice cream, I could not believe it.

    How could anyone NOT like chocolate ice cream?

    Then, I learned other things that she liked, that I didn't and that I liked BUT she didn't!

    That's your lesson.

    You are you.

    There is no requirement for you to be NORMAL by liking or doing what other people like or do.

    Yes, I believe that sex is normal, but, for you NOT sex is normal.

    What's wrong with that?

    Enjoy your life. If you don't want or need sex in it, then do life your way and live without it.
     
    DrownedFishOnFire and Freya like this.
  18. Dikta

    Dikta Autistic.

    Maybe you are asexual? Or you just haven't met the right person yet, if it makes sense.

    Nothing wrong with you at least.
    I've felt the same until I found the one. And he is actually the only one where it's normal, nice and not sickening for me.

    So you might just not have the one yet.