i self harmed again today

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by xsomewhatdamagedx, May 28, 2011.

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  1. xsomewhatdamagedx

    xsomewhatdamagedx Well-Known Member

    i self harmed today with a razor i already have a bandage on my arm from yesterdays self harm so i dont have to made an excuse i would never wish the way i feel on anyone because its hell.it has come to a point where i wake up early in the morning or late at night just to cut my arm the reason i did it today is to punish myself in a way because i wasn't able to help my friend yesterday hes going through hell at the moment and i feel as if i have completely failed him i truly hate myself for not being able to help those i care about and th only thing thats going through my head is what if i have let him down its going to be my fault if he passes away.i know doing this isnt going to help matters but its the only way i feel i can cope.
  2. Warrioress

    Warrioress Active Member

    You shouldn't have high expectations from yourself. It's perfectly normal for you to be unable to help your friend when you need help yourself. And you definitely need help if you're feeling like hell. Feel free to pm me if you feel like talking :hug:
  3. xsomewhatdamagedx

    xsomewhatdamagedx Well-Known Member

    i cut myself again this time even worse than the past two days im still bleeding so i have decided to put a new bandage on. i feel like the lowest of the low right now.my best friend has turned against me and probably blames me for some stupid fight yesterday that i didn't even start im just tired of feeling like this i even broke a promise to him i said that i wasn't going to cut anymore and i have (i thought why shoudn't i when i have no one that cares anymore) every single friendship i have ever had has always been torn to pieces by someone
  4. Warrioress

    Warrioress Active Member

    Sorry you're having a hard time. Please find another coping mechanism. Cutting doesn't help in the long run. It makes you feel bad about yourself and you end up feeling even worse than before. Go out for a run, take a shower; anything is better than hurting yourself.
  5. clairedelune

    clairedelune Well-Known Member

    Oh, you shouldn't have. And please don't blame yourself because of the things you're going through. Cutting won't do you any good. Listen to your favorite music instead, draw, write something to let go of the guilt. Anything that is not related to violence will do. Please don't hurt yourself again.
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It is not your job to heal your friend to make him feel better and if he does not want to feel better then he won't. He needs professional help that is what is going to help heal him. You look after you okay that is your job.
  7. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    promising someone you wont cut is too much pressure on you ,you can only stop when you want too or are able too

    like you say it was a stupid fight and like your arm you need to repair the damage

    ok your friend may be going through hell but so are you,looking after you is the most important thing ,does your friend see the pain your going through?
  8. xsomewhatdamagedx

    xsomewhatdamagedx Well-Known Member

    today has been the first day i haven't cut but that was purely because i was asleep all day after talking to a friend of mine literally all night.i have decided to deactivate my fb account because its doing my mental health no good people are now trying to add fuel to the flames of that fight i had a few days ago which is another reason for me to deactivate my account on there.i dont know how my friend is because hes not talking to me and i have given up trying to fix things and im tired of being blamed for something i didn't even start.
  9. xsomewhatdamagedx

    xsomewhatdamagedx Well-Known Member

    i failed really badly and cut again today i feel terrible not because of me cutting but because i broke my promise to 2 of my friends
  10. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Isn't that always what leads to the next cut? An expectation by others to live to better standards than what you believe is deserving of yourself?
    In truth, what you feel is very much real, but you have to understand that it also has no bearing or purpose in the World, outside of your own thoughts. Time and again, I have been someone who feels so overwhelmed with my thoughts and problems that I never stop and think about why exactly I am magnifying the problem merely by constantly thinking on them. From thinking about how a girl at school teases you or someone at works tells you that you are worthless because of a minor mistake, those negative words against you are made 100 times worse by what they really are, only because you make them that way by refusing to pay them no heed.
    A bad action can make an otherwise pleasant day turn bad, but one must also never forget that what goes on in the world is never - NEVER as bad as what you make it out to be in your own thoughts.
    Sometimes, when people feel the urge to harm themselves, a few small words makes all the difference in a cut, bite, scratch, fist-through-the-glass and those words come not from your friends or family, but from your own mouth. Standing in front of a mirror or just looking at your reflection in a window, saying the words "I'm deserving of who I am" can have more of an impact to your well-being than a week of hiding and lying about where you got all of those scratches and scars.
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