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I set off the dynamite

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by ValhallaDenied, Jul 25, 2008.

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  1. Well, I actually did it. I wrote a letter to my boyfriend explaining my unique and very depressing situation, and at the end told him I'd be waiting for him after he read it to talk about it. I'm hoping that I start feeling better about it soon, that the anxiety will go away after I've had time to really calm down from it.

    There's nothing more difficult than watching the truth crush someone's heart who's done nothing but love you.

    For now, we're still "together," and platonic. He says he understands, and that he knows it's not his fault and SAYS he doesn't fault me either...but I know what I see when I look into his eyes, and there's nothing but hurt.

    I can't decide which feels worse...the misery of living a lie, or the gut-wrenching pain of knowing I stepped on his heart.

    I didn't think it would be this hard. I pray and I pray and I pray that I did the right thing by telling the truth. Because right now, I feel like complete shit.

    But...I'll get over it. I think.
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hey valhalla, how are you feeling today?
  3. I'm still raw, but I think I'm doing a little bit better. Having anxiety disorder has made dealing with this a lot more difficult (plenty of low-level freakouts over the past 24 hours), but today I'm doing a little better.

    Hopefully tomorrow I'll be a little bit better, and the next day I'll be a little bit better, and eventually I'll feel like a human being again.
  4. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    I'm glad things are on the mend now. It was very brave of you to tell your bf and i am proud of you for that. I hope that each day you get one step closer to happiness. You deserve it :hug:
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