i should be dead right now. last year i took <mod edit-gentlelady-methods>i hate the fact that someone called the paramedics. i'd locked myself in my room - i really wanted to die. i am still here. fucking doctors "saved" me. and i had to go to psych ward etc etc. stop out of school for a quarter. back now after much convincing. my poor parents -- i never dreamed i'd have to face them afterwards. problem: i still want to die. i feel trapped. i should have a right to take my own life, not be trapped in psych wards and such! i can't do this anymore. it's terrible. i'm miserable. i don't see why psychiatrists and society should force the people who are having the hardest time in life to stay on earth. and it's not like anyone actually helps. they just prevent you from dying and tell you your feelings are wrong and you shouldn't feel this way. i hate this. i wish i could die i just love my parents too much and what if i failed again like last time? then things would really be bad.