Sorry to all of you out there who have actually suffered some kind of actual wrong. I apologize for trying to advise you when I have no idea what these experiences are like. I am sorry all I can say is you have to keep walking. I am sorry for trying to feel pain I could never imagine.
I feel so out of place on this forum. Most everyone here has a legitimate reason to be depressed. Some of you were raped, others cut, others have eating disorders, others have documented medical conditions, some are poor, some are jobless, the list goes on and on. Then You have me what is my problem? Fuck it is not even worth mentioning. I come here seeking support when I can truly say most everything is my fault. The only thing that happened to me was some bullying back when I was in elementary school. Well over 10 years ago. That may have caused some of my problems but it is hardly a reason to want to kill myself. By the standards of what I have read here, my life has been a perfect happy life.
I guess that is one of my problems, I need to feel worthy. I need To feel like I have a right to be miserable or to be happy. The fact that I do not have one makes me even more depressed. People tell me that depression does not discriminate. I know it doesn't, however, when I come up here and read about people living in abusive situations or people getting raped and having flash backs or people ODing. I cannot help but feel like I have no right. When I can list off isolation as my only problem from my past, which was my fucking choice, I feel like I do not belong. I feel like I only come here for attention.
I am sorry I waste so much forum space with my petty problems. Maybe I should just stop coming to places like this. Maybe I should just quit. I don't know maybe I should just die. I have a better life than a lot of people here. I am just scum for wanting more or not being happy.
I feel so out of place on this forum. Most everyone here has a legitimate reason to be depressed. Some of you were raped, others cut, others have eating disorders, others have documented medical conditions, some are poor, some are jobless, the list goes on and on. Then You have me what is my problem? Fuck it is not even worth mentioning. I come here seeking support when I can truly say most everything is my fault. The only thing that happened to me was some bullying back when I was in elementary school. Well over 10 years ago. That may have caused some of my problems but it is hardly a reason to want to kill myself. By the standards of what I have read here, my life has been a perfect happy life.
I guess that is one of my problems, I need to feel worthy. I need To feel like I have a right to be miserable or to be happy. The fact that I do not have one makes me even more depressed. People tell me that depression does not discriminate. I know it doesn't, however, when I come up here and read about people living in abusive situations or people getting raped and having flash backs or people ODing. I cannot help but feel like I have no right. When I can list off isolation as my only problem from my past, which was my fucking choice, I feel like I do not belong. I feel like I only come here for attention.
I am sorry I waste so much forum space with my petty problems. Maybe I should just stop coming to places like this. Maybe I should just quit. I don't know maybe I should just die. I have a better life than a lot of people here. I am just scum for wanting more or not being happy.