downing a bottle of cheap alcohol. Am I going to take an OD of my meds as well? I don't know yet. I figure I might as well get a head start and at least drink. I can make up my mind after I'm done drinking whether or not I take an OD of my meds. If I do stay alive, I hope my partner doesn;t find out, because she'll leave me, for good. Right now, I don;t know. Everything feels hopeless, and I just want to stop and get off this merry go round. I know you'll try to convince me of why I should live, Just give it a chance, it will get better. Well it might get better but then it will just get bad again. I don't know how many more "bads" I have left in me without killing myself. Right now, I guess I just don't care.