I smiled for real today

Discussion in 'Positive Feelings and Motivational Messages' started by LilDarling, Apr 18, 2008.

  1. LilDarling

    LilDarling Member

    So, a while ago, I was in therapy and my phone started ringing. It was on vibrate, but I asked if I could answer it. My therapist said no. It rang a few times, but I didn't recognize the number, so I didn't think that it was that big a deal.

    Anyway, when I left therapy, I checked my voicemail. One of my best frineds (someone I met in group therapy) had left me a message saying goodbye, that he was going back to the hospital. Obviously, I freaked out. I wanted to know why he was being hospitalized again, and the one thought I couldn't avoid made me cry all the harder -- that he had tried to kill himself.

    Anyway, yesterday he got out. I had had very, very, very loose contact with him while he was in the hospital. But my phone rang last night, and it was his name, and sure enough, he had gotten out.

    I pretty much died on the phone with him. I was so extremely happy that he was out.

    Anyway, another good thing is, my therapist is finding some open-door residentials that might take me over the summer. I have to be in a hospital over the summer, because my therapist thinks that I don't do well over spring breaks, winter breaks, and even weekends... and I barely survived last summer. So, considering that I'm worse than I was last year, I actually asked for him to look into hospitals for me to be in over the summer.

    Distressingly, it looked like he could only find closed-door hospitals at the beginning, which meant that I wouldn't be able to leave all summer. But he's found some open-door hospitals, which makes me really releaved.

    I had to stop Zoloft today, because my psychiatrist (Not my therapist. I have about four therapists and two psychiatrists) talked with one of my thearpists and found a symptom of my depression that Zoloft may not be best for... but that's fine, because I only started Zoloft two days ago, and they made me dizzy.

    My friends from school are leaving for a school trip that I'm not going on, so for a week, I won't be seeing them. I was freaking out at first, but now that my other friend is out of the hospital, I'll probably spend all out-of-school hours with him, and be okay.

    Anyway, today is altogether an okay day. I cut more than usual, but the cutting really, really helped me cope... which led to today being real great.
  2. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    It's nice to hear that you smiled today and that the day has been great for you. Long may it continue.