I spoke Out

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Aimee_in_Wonderland, Jul 25, 2009.

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  1. Aimee_in_Wonderland

    Aimee_in_Wonderland Well-Known Member

    So a few days ago. i come clean to my auntie exactly what my uncle did to me. and a room full of people. his memoral. and i just couldnt take anymore, of everyone saying how good of a man he was... if he was really that good,
    would he honestly have done what he did? NO he wouldnt because if he was this amazing person like his friends and family keep saying he would have loved me enough to spare me a life time of hurt and suffering.

    yes i choose the complete wrong moment to tell everyone in my family exactly what happened to me maybe i shouldnt have picked a room full of people maybe i should have waited... but i would never have done it, i know that

    my auntie asked me to write a speech out. i didnt say no because i knew exactly what i wanted to say, i wrote two. one as a fall back. part of me wishes id never gone, but oh well. i guess i cant take it back now right?

    i wont say what i said but everyone knows exactly what he did to me

    and you know what?

    Not one of them believes me, my auntie spun the "mental health" card to make people think i was making it up... a few people do believe me... but it was ruined because shes in deniel about what he did. she even partly knew.
    i dont care if she was embarressed atleast she knew exactly how i felt when he did what he did. said what he said...

    but why is it.

    no one ever believes the girl that got raped?

    why would you be sick and twisted enough to make it up?
    with the fact i could have gone into complete detail..

    but no. im a lier.
    i made it up.

    When he did what he did he said no-one would believe me.
    and he was right... hardly anyone did.
  2. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    you did the right thing speaking out,and when you did as well.Tough for them all who felt uncomfortable and inconvenienced by the truth.It wasn't comfortable or convenient for you to be hurt the way you were by this man and you deserve credit for your bravery.I hope you have a therapist.Take care.
  3. elvinchild

    elvinchild Well-Known Member

    It takes a lot of courage to speak out like that. I've told no one about my abuse but my closest friends, and I don't know if I will ever be able to tell my family.

    Your aunt is probably just in denial because this is someone very dear to her we're talking about right? She doesn't want to believe that he would do such an awful thing. Especially at his funeral, she's probably suffering (I'm just guessing of course I don't know what their relationship was). I think underneath she may know the truth, but its highly disturbing to her, so she prefers to believe that its your own mental health problems in order to protect herself from dealing with the painful reality. I think my parents actually knew about the abuse I went through, there were times when some mild forms of it happened right in front of them - but they're in denial, because who wants to believe that a family is so messed up, or that someone they love is so sick and cruel?

    Everyone else probably just went along with believing what your aunt said for the same reasons... its just what they'd rather believe. Maybe she did a really good job of labeling you as mentally troubled. I don't know.

    Its unfortunate that people are unable/unwilling to believe the truth about abuse, but I think you have great courage for speaking up. Maybe in time, when people are over with mourning your uncles death, you'll be able to bring them to see the truth. I sincerely hope this is the case - don't give up on standing up for the truth, now that its out there.
  4. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy


    No matter how anyone feels, you know that truth and you told people. I think you made the right decision to tell everyone the truth. If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you.

  5. confuzzle

    confuzzle Well-Known Member

    This might sound weird, but I was thinking the same thing, of telling my story at my fathers eventual funeral.

    I can't imagine the courage it took to say that.
    Hell, the thought of family at this moment is enough to trigger, let alone be next to any of em.

    Its sad to see what people would do to try and protect themselves though.
    We are here for you Aimee, and support you all the way.
  6. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    heya ..
    ur so brave 2 have told them.. its sad that some didnt believe u.. they might have been in shock over what u said.. so their initial reaction was 2 not believe u..
    my auntie told the family recently she was abused by her father as a young girl - by my grandad whos passed away.. and nobody beleives her.. its really sad coz shes got so many problems like drugs and depression and nobody could ever pinpoint the reason why.. shes about 40 years old and its taken her all this time 2 say what happened out loud.. and th response was ppl in my family turning away from her.. im the only 1 that keeps in contact.. like u said .. why and how could any1 make something like this up ?? its ridiculous how ppl think sometimes..
    i know i will never have the courage 2 say the things iv been through 2 my family.. u are more than brave.. and i really hope u get some positives out of this.. mabye now ppl know.. once they come 2 terms with it they can help and understand u better..
    all the best :hug:
  7. Songie

    Songie Well-Known Member

    *applause* You did the right thing by speaking out, hun. Alot of people don't have the guts to do it...I didn't for the longest time. No matter what happens, even if they dont believe you, at least you know that you said something. *hugs*
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope the ones that said they don't believe you come around to knowing what happened and apologizing to you. I told as a child but again like you it was all made up in our mind. NOt just me my twin too. I am glad you told because now at least it is out in the open and if they don't believe well thats their problem they can be in denial all they want you know what happened and the hell with them. I am glad your here with us for support and i hope your therapist can help you now with everyone take care.
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Well done :hug: That must have took a LOT of courage, don't feel bad, you spoke the truth :)

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    you were brave to let it out.
    most ppl dont wish to recognise those kind of things when it concerns family members or friends. "they" belive they have never seen any evidence of it. its not something ppl are just going to believe at the drop of a hat.

    you said what you had to say. im sure it caused some riff .. but it was something you had to do to release some of the pain. now is the time to get some support from an outside source and start rebuilding your life. as hard as it is sometimes, its never to late and it can be done.
    you have to make the choice to move through that which was.
    raise the bar on your expectations OF YOU and get moving lol.
    there are differant types of pain, that which will result in positive outcome or the pain that rots inside of you forever.

    as hard as it sounds, forgivness .. not for them but for you is also possible in time.


    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    to make the last part of my post alittle more clear,
    when we are victims of rape or abuse, we hold a common anger inside.
    we harbor those painful feelings and as time goes on, it gets worse and it effects other things in our life.

    the idea of forgiving, releases the pain WE HOLD. its not to make the other person feel set free from what he has done, but more so to allow US to be able to move on without carrying the back pack of anger towards this person.

    the less you have on your plate from what was, the better off you will be. i know its easier said than done. it takes time. i was burried with hatred and anger towards my parents and ppl in general.

    almost everything in my life reflected back to what was. because i was that angry. i drank, drugged etc. when i quit all that, the anger went away.
    i was able to forgive ... im my way. for my benefit. not theirs.

    it got rid of a great amount of pain and changed my life. I DID THAT.
    no one else.
    thats what i meant.
    hope it helps
  12. Aimee_in_Wonderland

    Aimee_in_Wonderland Well-Known Member

    well after doing that it hasnt made the slightest bit of difference in everyones eyes im a lier, im making it up. so i guess they will never really know, i havent been able to face anyone here but the constant stares when they see me are making it a hell of alot worse, i was stupid to think that anyone would ever believe me, it hasnt helped me one bit hes won all over again.
  13. Silvio

    Silvio Well-Known Member

    I think you did the right thing, it takes courage to admit that sorta thing to people. Good job.
    If you got at least one person to believe you, I think that's better than keeping all that pressure and stress to yourself.

    As for your uncle, he's dead......the past, let the world beyond decide what ta do with him.
    Get well and take care, yea?
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