I started not long ago.

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Lucano, Feb 1, 2012.

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  1. Lucano

    Lucano Well-Known Member

    As I've already explained I am going thru a very hard moment in my life. The pain I am feeling right now is like nothing I've ever felt before and it was really dragging me down. While talking to others has helped me, during the nights I keep having nightmares and a lot of difficulty to sleep. About 4 or 5 days ago, I tried it, hurting myself. I started cutting my left arm. I have vast knowledge in anatomy, so, I try to avoid major blood vessels and nerves. The cuts are not deep, they are only deep enough to bleed and produce pain. Which is exactly why I'm doing this. Since my whole situation started, I've felt, numb, slow, tired, confused, dizzy, disoriented. And one morning while I was cooking I accidentaly burned one of my fingers, but oddly, instead of spending the whole morning like I've been usually, I was more awake, sharper. Also, that night I slept so much better than other nights, so, as an experiment I started the next night and I slept like a baby. It doesn't works perfectly every night, but it has helped me. I know is not the perfect way to cope with my emotional pain. But, while I get professional help, is working fine for me.

    I prefer to not share my technique, nor tools for obvious reasons.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i started to take meds instead of harming me and the meds help me sleep very quickly i understand why you sh but the scars never leave you once you start i do hope you can stop sooner then later and get the professional help you need
     
  3. Lucano

    Lucano Well-Known Member

    On thursday I have an apointment with a psychiatrist, hopefully it will help. I'm trying to not cross too many lines, I feel I already crossed an important one when I started hurting myself, however I am trying to do the less lasting damage possible, mostly I try to produce more pain than injury. I used to punch the walls of my house until my knuckles started bleeding but, for some reason that didn't helped this time. Anyway, thank you, I appreciate it. I am trying to get help. I know I need it.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Go to hospital hun ask to talk to pdoc on call who will set you up an appt then to get help
     
  5. Lucano

    Lucano Well-Known Member

    I did already, my apointment is on thursday at 8 am. I know I need it believe me. Thank you for your interest. It means a lot in this moment to me.
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am happy to hear that hun please try not to sh okay instead do something special for YOU okay something kind hugs
     
  7. Lucano

    Lucano Well-Known Member

    Thank you. 1 more day for tomorrow thankfully. Is hard to not do it, at least without meds. I need it so bad, I need help so bad. I still have this horrible nightmares and this feeling of being worthless of deserving to be punished. I want it to be tomorrow already.
     
  8. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    Hi Lucano,

    If you have to, maybe try the old snapping rubberband on the wrist to hold you over. One more day, you can make it.
     
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