i have a plan. i started on my plan and now im scared. i havent gone far enough to do any damage to myself. but god i want to. i dont want to live. i have nothing to live for. i have so many people who made me promise to stay alive. and ive tried. ive even tried getting a bed IP. but nope. the hospital is full. i have to go out for drama rehersal in less than an hour. my mother will be here. i look like sh*t. i dont know whats worse. hurting my family, or continuing to hurt like i do.