i still care

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by forever_scarred, Nov 11, 2011.

  1. forever_scarred

    forever_scarred Well-Known Member

    i dont have many words left to say. i know many of u feel im ignoring/pushing people away...i am not...i just cant take on anymore...i have so much shit going 'round in my head that it has made me physically sick, given me migraines etc. i cant sleep anymore and worse when i do i cant even get out of bed. my body is rebelling against itself...a couple of nights ago i totally lost control and cried myself to sleep...perhaps for a stupid reason....i kept looking at the small light in the hallway and it reminded me of moms "night light" thats all it took....and if thats all i will take, i dont dare to push myself any further. i will always care about my cyber sisters...i hope they know that but i cant always be there anymore...im in a lot more pain than i ever was....i still care i just...i cant. I know i made promises to flowers123 and to thorn but that doesnt mean that i dont stop thinking about it. I still wanna say to hell with this and end it all....

    please please dont think i care any less or that u dont mean anything to me cuz u do...more than i can express
  2. Isabel

    Isabel Staff Alumni

    Hi Meg,

    Its important you care of yourself first and do what is right for you hun. Just keep in mind its important you don't isolate yourself so that you reach out for help when you need it. Its okay to cry, there is always a reason for it and its a way for you to process and to get rid of the pain (I always feel better after a good cry ;) ). I find writing a lot of that stuff helps me. Your diary can be made private on the forum, or you can even keep one on paper at home. Just a suggestion in case you want a space where you can express yourself more freely. I think we all go through those alternating phases when we need sharing and then need to be on our own for a little bit to mull over things. wish you well hun
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 12, 2011
  3. texaskitty

    texaskitty SF Cat Lady Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Care for yourself first and foremost, those who love you will understand.

    Once our cups are full we can give again, but its hard to give when you are empty.

    I hope you feel better soon.