i still have no reason to live

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by greenieguy, Jan 14, 2014.

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  1. greenieguy

    greenieguy Banned Member

    Every girl sees me as friend material, i watch shows from 2006, the only video game i still play was from 1999. Those were the last decent things. Sports teams are sucking and i have no money to buy a hooker so i will always be a virgin. Everything in life sucks and nothing is getting better.
     
  2. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    *hugs* sorry you are feeling so bad.... may i ask how old you are? could just be that you haven't met the right person as far as losing your virginity... what exactly in life sucks in your view? can't help you unless i know what's going on.... looking forward to hearing from u
     
  3. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    you seem focused on certain things. and avoiding all others, or in habit of not thinking about them.
     
  4. greenieguy

    greenieguy Banned Member

    I dont think there is a girl out there for me they all seem to treat me the same either im their guy friend that they use or im just rejected. I feel all girls are the same when it comes to me. College is taking forever and i have zero money so i cant even lose my virginity that way.
     
  5. greenieguy

    greenieguy Banned Member

    I watch reruns of shows i used to like 10 years ago because there is nothing decent on anymore. I play final fantasy 10 and zelda ocarina of time over and over again because those franchises havent came out with a decent game in 10 years. My sports teams suck. i feel like ive seen everything good and things are just getting worse. Thanks for the replies by the way its nice to talk to people about this
     
  6. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    ever consider charity work?
     
  7. greenieguy

    greenieguy Banned Member

    Ha that would be the last straw going and helping people to figure out the girls there are the same too then i would know for a fact they are all the same and it would be easier to kill myself. I like helping people but i couldnt stand to find out that the firls there are shallow too
     
  8. SuicideSam

    SuicideSam Banned Member

    The reason you are stuck in the past is because you have no hope for the future. There are plenty of great games out there, many of them free to play and some great shows too. You just have to try them. As to still being a virgin, dont worry it'll happen. Dont rush it and stay away from hookers. Its unsatisfying if your partness does not enjoy it. And there is a massive risk of contracting an STD some of wich are quite horrific causing your flesh to rot and extreme pain.

    My guess is you are waiting for the girl to start a relationship with you? Sadly you will rarely ever see it. Girls show interest very subtly and expect you to ask them out and all that stuff. At least that is my experiance, I'm no expert though so dont take my word as lore.

    Keep your chin up buddy, never give up. Give this site a look as well and then come back and share with us.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 17, 2015
  9. greenieguy

    greenieguy Banned Member

     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 17, 2015
  10. SuicideSam

    SuicideSam Banned Member

    Those women respond differantly to you because you havent shown them you are romanticaly interested in them. You are in the infamous friendzone. Dont be to aggresive now and smother a woman with your affection you have to be subtle too, if she has pretty eyes then tell her she has pretty eyes. Show your interest in and ask her about herself. Remember that she is a person and not an object and wants to treated as if you actualy care about her. Another thing is that you will be rejected alot. This is not a failure, it happens to all of us. That woman is simply not interested in you, the same way you dont like every woman you see. Just keep trying and you will succeed. The same with a video game you dont just give up cause you keep losing, you keep trying till you win.

    About your hoped for the future, there is hope, we just cant see it cause we're lost and alone in the dark. Just because we cant see it does not mean its not there. Your first hope is the fact that you are here alive and talking to us! It means that despite all the pain and the hurt you still want to live! You want to find a way out of this dark hole you have fallen into, you just need to find the way out.

    Stay strong.
     
  11. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    Honsetly greenie,

    After reading this post and some of your others, there are 3 things that stick out at me regarding how your words come across (perhaps this isn't true of you as a person, I don't know you well enough to know that so I am not going to judge you... but this is what I get from your words)

    1 You are stuck in your past
    2 You are being intensely negative
    3 You are also being judgemental to the point of a type of predjudism in some cases of other people.

    I am going to assume that all these things are true... but mostly because they are things that become true of many of us while we are in depression or the throws of other mental illness. That being said... I also have to say that for however long these things remain true for you, you will find it almost impossible to get friends or lovers that wish to remain close to you for any length of time because these are all traits people like to avoid in order to prevent themselves from being hurt. Below I have kind of tried to outline a few of the reasons why:

    - If you are stuck in your past, you cannot enjoy the present, so when you are with someone that is being kind to you in the present, you cannot enjoy it and share in it with the person you are with.... that pushes that person away because they feel ignored and/or taken for granted, they want you to notice them too.

    - If you are being negative all the time, others can find no way to enjoy their time with you... and start to think that you just bring them down, so avoid you. (or if you are an angry person rather than depressed person, they can actually start to fear you)

    - When someone is judgemental of others or predjudice to the point that it is noticeable, to many people that becomes unattractive and unflattering and unappealing... because in the end they end up wondering how you really see them, how you truly judge them when they aren't around to hear it, etc.

    - If you are stuck in your past, you are constantly searching for things that you can identify your past with... you aren't really seeing the person in front of you, you are seeing the people in your past. If that is the case, you cannot appreciate the person you are with, and they eventually start to realize this and drift away. (Also if you are an angry type person because of things that happened in your past, this can cause you to react in abusive ways with others... so they avoid you for safety reasons)

    - If you are negative, there is no way you can enjoy things because you will always find something to complain about... if this is the case, the fact you are not enjoying your time with someone becomes unmistakeable, and they start to wonder if maybe your problem is them, and they just need to leave you alone. (In the angry person this can easily lead to verbally and/or emotionally abusive behaviors again causing people to avoid you for safety reasons.)

    - Judgementalism and Predjudism is strongly related to hate groups, and very few people want to be associated with something or someone that reminds them of hate.


    These are just a few reasons I can think of off the top of my head. Honestly, what I suggest you do before you resume your search for a girlfriend, is learn how to break out of these destructive behaviors/patterns of thinking. I think you will find your search a lot easier the more of these things you are able to break out of.

    I wish the best for you... please take care.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 14, 2014
  12. greenieguy

    greenieguy Banned Member

    Maybe im all those things but girls have made me that way so it doesnt make any sense to change back for them its easier to end my life
     
  13. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    don't change for them... change for you...

    whether or not you have relationships, you should be able to love yourself... i dont think you have love for yourself right now... do you?

    whether or not you have relationships, you should be able to be happy... i don't think you are able to feel happiness atm.. are you?

    whether or not your have relationships, you should be able to feel its ok... i don't think you feel its ok... do you?

    and one more question

    if you could live your life and be happy, would you still want to die? if that answer is no, then death isn't really what you want either...
     
  14. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    if after you do make those changes you don't want a gf... then don't look for one... if you do, then by all means... start looking again!!

    but do this for you, nobody else
     
  15. greenieguy

    greenieguy Banned Member

    Yeah i dont love myself, im not happy, and i dont think its ok that is exactly why i dont want to exist anymore. There is nothing in this world for me and i dont think ill ever find hapiness because i guess hou have to be happy to get girls bit when i was happu i always got rejected now im sad and i know i dont have a chance to be happy. i wish there was a reason not to be negative but it was my postive self that was wrong i got rejected a lot now i know the truth and i cant unlearn the truth
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 15, 2014
  16. greenieguy

    greenieguy Banned Member

    Im sorry if i seem difficult i do apperciate you talking to me i just dont.know what i have to live for
     
  17. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    i didn't actually mean girls. i meant new insights, experiences
     
  18. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    honestly... some of what you are feeling is caused by your choices, some of it may just be b/c of your body chemistry.... both things can be helped, so you CAN feel happy again... if you want it AND are willing to work hard for it.

    i am going to pretend you are willing to do both those things and offer a few tips that can help.

    1. You said you do not love yourself... this is a thought pattern that has the option to be changed. It is like any other habit that you get into, it will be hard to break and feel foreign/fake to you when you first start trying to change this pattern, but if you want happiness enough, you will continue with it. One way I know to change this pattern, follow these steps in this order:
    -Write down 10 things that you consider to be at least "not bad" and even things you consider "good" about yourself.
    -Keep in mind these are precisely the things people will miss about you when you die.... and these are the things that make you a unique and special individual, they are the things that make you a good person and worthwhile and important.
    -If you have tape, put some tape on all 4 corners of the paper you wrote this on
    -Find a mirror in your house... one that is wall - hanging is preferred
    -If you can, tape the paper on the side of the mirror but level heigth with you eyes
    -Look in the mirror, and say aloud to your reflection "I love you. You are a good person, and I can prove it."
    -Recite the reasons you put on the list, out loud - while looking at your reflection.
    -Continue looking at your reflection and say "I love you."
    ** Start out doing this 3 times a day (and anytime in between that you feel yourself thinking you are not a good person or unloveable or etc. After a couple weeks of doing it 3 times a day, you can back off to just 2 times a day (if you notice less times of having to recite it for the specific reason that you are thinking negative thoughts in between the usual 3 times you have chosen to recite it -- if you are still having a lot of negative thought thinking, then continue with 3 times a day for 2 more weeks). Again, if you have moments where you find yourself with a lot of negative thinking about yourself, recite it during those times too. After 2 weeks of doing that, reduce it down to 1 time a day. After about a week of doing it 1 time a day... only do it if/when you notice the negative thought patterns start to return. I have done this in the past and it does work, but I will tell you that yes, you will feel like an idiot at first.

    2. Do you have hobbies and interests? If so, then use those to distract you when you are at your lowest times.... and deal with your problems that are making you sad when your emotions are not super raw. Distraction also works for moments when you're sad and can't put your finger on why you are sad.

    3. In order to feel "ok", you can do relaxation techniques such as:
    -deep breathing ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgTL5G1ibIo )
    -visualization: to do this, you close your eyes and imagine yourself in a relax setting. now answer these questions:
    -what does it look like here (in the relaxing setting)? what things can i see?
    -what smells can i smell in this place? (ie are there flowers blooming nearby, is there the smell of saltwater nearby, are there foods giving off aroma, perfumes, etc)
    -what sounds can be heard in this place? (ie birds chirping, bees buzzing, waves splashing, children laughing, etc)
    -what sensations can i feel in this place? (is it hot/warm/cold? is it wet or dry? is there a breeze blowing? is anything touching me either constantly or periodically or could something touch me, maybe a bird fluttering its wings by my arm? etc.)
    -what can i taste here? (can i taste salt in the air, am i eating, etc
    Now, imagine that in fact you are seeing those things, smelling those things, hearing those things, feeling those things, and tasting those things.... Keep imagining it til it become as if it is real and then just allow your mind to roam as if you are there in that setting, with those things happening.
    -Muscle relaxation:
    -With one muscle group at a time (ie your hands, your feet, your calves, your thighs, your fore arms, your upper arms, abdominal muscles, chest muscles, neck muscles, mouth, eyes, forehead- use your eyebrows for this one, jaw, etc) tighten the muscle group as tight as you can and hold for 5 seconds, then relax for 5 seconds, tense the muscle group 1/2 as tight as you can for 5 seconds, relax for 5 seconds, now just barely tighten for 5 seconds, relax for 5 seconds... keeping this set of muscles relaxed, move to the next set of muscles and repeat this process. if you ever notice a muscle group tensing that you have already done this process with, go back and repeat the process on that muscle group that got tense again and then come back to the muscle group that you were on.
    -Aromatherapy: http://www.wikihow.com/Use-Essential-Oils (i buy my essential oils at http://www.bulkapothecary.com )
    -These are just a few ways of relaxing, there are many, many others and I invite you to research the web for them.

    You can also try changing your diet and exercising. ( http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_tips.htm )

    Some info on foods to avoid and to help you deal with depression, two sites you can go to are: http://healthyliving.msn.com/diseases/depression/5-foods-to-eat-when-youre-depressed-18 and http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/content/assets/PDF/publications/healthy_eating_depression.pdf

    Some other things that may affect your mood: are you getting enough sunlight in your day to day activities? do you take in too much or too little of the vitamins and minerals you need to have (this can be checked with a blood test)

    these are just a few ideas, but there are many more out there...
     
  19. greenieguy

    greenieguy Banned Member

    Thank you so much for all you wrote ill try the mirror thing yeah it will feel weird but what do i have to lose it might make me feel better im going to try and be positive again but a part of me is scared that it will just be the same ole by the way thanks for the relaxing stuff i once asked about relaxing tech. And didnt get that detailed of an answer. i listed my hobbies above ive been watching old nostalgic shows to put me in a good mood. I dont have many hobbies except golf because most hobbies are ruled by couples which gets me depressed
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 15, 2014
  20. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    you are very welcome i hope it helps you a bit... and yes, it is easy to slip back into old routine ... but if that happens, and this helped, you know what to do to help yourself again... may do some good to try to find some indoor hobbies, or activities... just a suggestion tho...

    perhaps playing video games, or card games, putting together puzzles, wood working, drawing, painting, writing stories or poems or journaling... lots of diff things you can do... just gotta find something to help you.... maybe even playing an instrument...

    good luck in your search... believe in yourself! *hugs*
     
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