I still miss her =(

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by Atheist Demon, Jul 19, 2008.

  1. Atheist Demon

    Atheist Demon Account Closed

    My grandmother died on the last day of 2007, she was put in the hospital around mid-november 2007 cause of a severe sore on her upper leg, and it will ooze stuff out and it smelled so bad that they had no choice but to put her in the hospital. She missed my birthday, and all I can remember was on Dec. 31, 2007 my mom was extremely sad and woke me up to tell me that she is dying and the nurse said it won't be long, and I was scared to see her die so I stayed home a few hours later mom came and told me she is gone. And all I can do was cry. I tried to take some pills for I can OD and die cause my life was shit before she died and she was a VERY important person in my life. So I couldn't think of living without her, plus to make matters worse my mom was sick from a throat problem and I was scared that she might die soon aswell. 2007 was the shittiest year of my life. I went to jail on the firsth day of December (for assulting my mom) and I lost my gma on the last. We barely celebrated New Year's Day (when the Times Square ball fell on the 2008 lights). I still miss her alot.

    Sorry for the profanity.
  2. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    hey there.

    i lost my nan on 14th june 2007. i had alwasy lived with her and she was more like a mum to me than a nan, so i totally know what you are going through okay.

    i also tried to od many times to be with my nan. but think about it, that's not what your grandmother would have wanted. im guessing she loved you and wanted you to be happy when she was alive?? the same thing still stands hun. she's watching over you, looking out for you. she will never leave you.

    it's not even been a year for you yet, give yourself some time to grieve, try not to rush the process because it will just come back and haunt you in the future.

    my pm box is always open if you need someone to talk to.

    take care :hug:
  3. Atheist Demon

    Atheist Demon Account Closed

    thx, it just feels empty without her
  4. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    i know hunni :hug:
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am sorry to hear about your grandmother. I remember when I lost mine and how difficult it was for me. She went to the hospital March 14 and passed away March 17. Although this was many years ago, I still think of her often and so many things remind me of her. I thought my world had come to an end. I have started traditions to remember her by on special days. It has helped me to move through the tougher days. Remember the good times you had together. It is okay to cry and mourn and grieve what you have lost. The day will come that instead of an intense pain when you think about her, it will be an ache instead. :hug:
  6. Atheist Demon

    Atheist Demon Account Closed

    I guess what hurts the most are the dreams, I dream about her in her house and me and mom will see her. And I will be happy but when I wake up I am back into reality and know that she is no longer here.
  7. Not the end

    Not the end New Member

    I don't like to say that I exactly understand what people are going through, but I like to believe that what I've experienced is something similar to what you have.
    I lost my grandpa in '03, and I lost so much that I don't think I'll ever have back.

    When it gets rough, just think about what your grandmother would do to console you.