I still want to kill myself...

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Tnecniv, Jul 12, 2008.

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  1. Tnecniv

    Tnecniv Well-Known Member

    I still want to kill myself... I'm so sad it didn't work.....
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am glad you are still here, but sorry you are feeling so incredibly bad. Maybe you can share with us a little about what is going on. :hug:
  3. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    Maybe you can give yourself a birthday cake before you try again. Take a break, enjoy life for a while, you know?
  4. Tnecniv

    Tnecniv Well-Known Member

    I'm 14 years old, I have tried to kill myselfe 3 times, and i have prepeard it around 20 times... it just happened that the chance did just run away... I do suffer of deppression, paranoia, fear (if thats what it is called in english), nervotic breakdowns and I'm loosing my feelings... I do also imagine/see things others don't (I have always done that)... I just can't take it any more.... I hurt myselfe and sometimes so badly that I can't walk (I can't sleep if I don't)... I have almost no self respect or confidence..... I've just lost all hope of getting a life..... and I am get in to a mental hospital in august... but I know someone thats been there and I've heard that the therapists there are sick.... I just dont know what to do..... real problems didn't come before i was 12/13... but they were there since... I don't know for how long... and my life is getting so freaking dramatic now... It's like living in a "soap" series... I hate my life... I can't even cry anymore... I want to... but it is impossible to get it out... when I cry am I in a good mood... I have many problems at home too... It's just to hard for a 14 year old to take... and now I found out that I might never get better because this all happend in a so young age... well... thats all I have to say I guess...
  5. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni

    I suppose it's very hard but I hope you can hang in there. I know it's hard to believe at that point but many things that seem very difficult at your age are going to pass. Hang in there. :hug:
  6. Tnecniv

    Tnecniv Well-Known Member

    I'm not so sure of that... but, well, well... I JUST WISH THAT I HAD DIED UNDER MY FIRST ATTEMPT!!!.... but at the same time... I'm glad I didn't.... but I still think that I'd kill myself.... soon... now... when I get the chance...
  7. Rachael41

    Rachael41 Well-Known Member

    im sorry u feel this way :( but i also understand...im a little older than u so i suppose i maybe deal with it a bit better???

    but u seem very mature, and capable of continuing :)
    ur still young and it must be difficult having to deal with everything u have got goin on..
    but everyone is here for u:)
    stay strong ! :)
  8. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    i'm sorry to hear you're hurting so much right now. actually you sound like my own boy who is 14. my son told me last nite he wished he were dead. he says this only cause his best friend passed away two months ago now, but it's just hard to hear of you youngin's hurting so much at such a young tender age. please continue to share and we'll continue to be there for you. :please: take care and stay safe
  9. Tnecniv

    Tnecniv Well-Known Member

    well... You might be right that I am very mature... I even began to read philosofy when I was 8 years old :dry: My therapist tells me that, that is one of my problems... "I think too much and too fast, and that can cuse depression" :dry: what a shitty problem... and one of the wierdest things is that my depression was the last thing I got of my problems... so ny thinking can't bi it (luckly...)
  10. riz

    riz Senior Member

    Just something you said made me want to suggest a book for you to read. You seem really intelligent, so take this as an assignment from a librarian at heart. Read "Perks of Being a Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky. Charlie, the main voice in this book often complains about thinking too much about everything....sound familiar?

    Sometimes things like music and a feel-good fiction novel can help you escape from the reality that forces you to feel alone, afraid, confused, etc... Seems like it's the best advice I have to offer these days. I'm in a similar boat and I'm hanging on by my favorite songs...

    Here's one of my favorite quotes from the book--"I know that things get worse before they get better because that's what my psychiatrist says, but this is a worse that feels too big."--Charlie, the narrator of the book.

    Give it a chance, and I'll be here when you're done and ready to discuss it with someone that's read it too. That book changed my life. Lets see if it touches yours. (And I like the idea with the Birthday cake. Get one of those for when you're reading the book. Nothing can be wrong with cake. :D )

    Take care of yourself,
  11. Tnecniv

    Tnecniv Well-Known Member

    I think that I'd try that RIZ=D
  12. MourningAngel

    MourningAngel Well-Known Member

    That's exactly how I feel at the moment. And I'm hardly older than you. But my problems startet when I was 5 years old and I was able to hide everything successfully so that no one noticed anything. Until I startet to tell someone. You're not alone out there, you know. And I'm afraid that that'll never change.
  13. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    when i was your age i was ahead of my time also. it can be a tough spot to be in, but i also know you can get through it. i totally have faith in you. :please: take care and stay safe
  14. riz

    riz Senior Member

    I hope you do try it.....When I seen that you're 14 years old, I got this chilling flashback of myself at your age. I know how hopeless it all feels. I was 9 when my problems really started to effect me, but believe it or not--you WILL end up stronger in the end. So curl up with that book and come talk to me when you're done!! ♥
  15. Tnecniv

    Tnecniv Well-Known Member

    I will try it, and then I tell you what I thought about the book when I'm finished.
  16. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Vincent :hug:
    I am so glad you are still here. You know how much you mean to me. You understand me. You know what i go through and i'm always here for you hun :)
  17. Tnecniv

    Tnecniv Well-Known Member

    Thank you aimee... :smile:
  18. sadman1981

    sadman1981 Member

    join the club friend, i tried cutting my wrist 6 years ago didnt work obviously, im trying one last treatment to get better, 2 months max im giving myself if it dosent work, well im off.
  19. jerrin

    jerrin Guest

    DO NOT KILL YOUR SELF! Life will get better in your adult hood. Strive for knowledge and ame for goals. I know it sounds like a bunch of poop to read this but it will work. Read the Bible in the book of Revolutions! IT TALKS ABOUT THE END OF THE WORLD! lol, but seriously read it.
  20. Tnecniv

    Tnecniv Well-Known Member

    allready read itXD sorryXD
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