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I Stole My Mom's <Mod Edit, WildCherry>

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by anotherdot, Jan 19, 2013.

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  1. anotherdot

    anotherdot Member

    I'm not gonna go in depth, but the last two years after I've developed schizophrenia i've been through hell. The feeling of emotional flatness was just too much. The only thing I feel apart from that is anxiety. So I had come with the perfect way to end my life. I would go into my mom's (who's a vet) briefcase and steal the <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods>. It was supossed to be quick and painless. When I'm about to retrieve the drug with the syringe, the medicine bottle slipped, fell to the ground and broke.
    I feel so frustated. I am too afraid to <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods>, I wouldn't want to torture my family with that image.

    I'm not a native speaker, there might be some mistakes.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    My whole family has schizophrenia hun and some have done very well on their medication One is going back to college another had regained her licience to drive and was able to get stable with her meds as well Hun you have to work with your doctor ok if you are feeling to flat let you doctor know ok so meds can be adjusted some it may be too high

    I hope you talk to your mother about how you are feeling and get the help the support you need to get stable hugs
  3. spica

    spica New Member

    Hi! in my book of Life...You are more than ... anotherdot! 'o}

    I praise your courage to share like you did.
    I'm mid age Canadian woman, with quite some knowledge about mental health. I agree with total eclipse comments.
    Your sharing helps me re-focus my thoughts as I regain hope that my challenges will decrease and that my "usual me" will resurface and face them.
    I am blessed by Life, very privileged mother of two wonderful young adults.
    One of them had weed induced schizo episodes a while back and I definitely needed, searched and found resources to help me deal with his behaviors and how they affected me.

    Life is not easy for the majority of people.
    I've had many many challenges, that my psychologist said: "many people with just one of them at a time come and see me"... and You've had 10 in 6 years... ".
    I am grateful and thankful for Her, for other resources, and for my sister's wise words. She had faith in Life and just before passing on she told me: "Sis, Trust Life, ...Everything happens for a reason... and who the heck told ya Life is supposed to be easy and fair!" I smile as I write, my first smile since yesterday... and I thank her for wise words, thank Life for my ability and opportunity to share them with you.
    I send you Light, Peace, Love and a huge Canadian hug too eh!
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