I suffer...I suffer every second of every day. About six years ago I was hit with a spell of depersonalization. Most don't know what it is, but basically I felt very, very, very uncomfortably detached from my surroundings and my self. It was very, very distressing. It lost it's intensity some, but since then it has come and gone and come and gone, but never gone away totally. Right now I am in the most horrible pitfall with this stuff that I have ever been. I don't even know how to begin to describe it. It's honestly just horrid. It effects every single thought I have. Basically I am scared to death of going insane every second of every day. I have had no past trauma. I have great parents, great friends, great relatives, a decent job, a college education, no debt, no outside problems besides the fact that I am extremely scared to death and detached and can't think for one second of each day. It is horrendous. I have sought medical help for many, many, many years and have gotten no where. My mind is obsessive with this and I don't know how to make it stop. I don''t think that suicide is the answer, but I do know that I don't know how to get better and how to make my self feel any amount of contentness. I feel insane and that I will lose it at any time. I don't know what I wanted out of this post, but no one seems to know how to get me better, so I don't know what to do. I am scared of every thought that enters my mind. How do I go on?