I suffer from ED and I want to die

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Flavio, Dec 11, 2008.

  1. Flavio

    Flavio Member

    I suffer from erectile dysfunction (ED) and I can't get intimate with my partner, who's the best person in the world. I've tried taking medication, things improved a bit but not enough. I know I will never be able to resume a normal sexual life with my partner and I want to die. Please don't think I'm shallow, this is a horrible situation.
  2. AlexRA

    AlexRA Member

    If your partner really is the best person in the world, they will accept it. And at the same time they would still love you.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I agree with Alex, if they truly love you they will accept you no matter what. :hug:
  4. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    I have a similar problem that has resulted in a low testosterone and no sex drive needless to say my life has been a nightmare the last 5 months
  5. Flavio

    Flavio Member

    Thank you all for posting. Only someone that goes through this situation knows how desperate it can get. Yes, ED is no joke, it is a nightmare. My partner has been patient, loving and understanding, but I feel ashamed nevertheless.
  6. Flavio

    Flavio Member

    I don't care about me, what really bothers is not being able to satisfy my partner. I know there are people out there with much worse problems, but I think life stinks and I don't deserve this.
  7. Milton

    Milton Well-Known Member

    There are other options for sexually satisfying your partner than just regular sex. Oral sex would probably be the main one, but you could also consider using toys or other stimulating products etc.

    Have you talked to your partner about this? Both about what's happening and how it makes you feel?
  8. Flavio

    Flavio Member

    We are both too embarrassed to talk about this, I can't even look him in the face. In the beginning, everything was wonderful and perfect and happy, now it's a nightmare.
  9. ckeppa

    ckeppa Active Member

    i wish there was something that helped....i think im closer to suicide everyday. i had a amazing sex life and was deeply in love with her...one night this weird switch went off in my head. and now i cant perform...it shoots the pistol off everytime...bout a month later she left me and broke my soul...i havnt been Nearly the same since. this shit isnt a joke and leads to more misery as u live on...i loved her so much. the pain in unbearable.
    GildedFlowers likes this.
  10. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    There is a section of this forum for sexual issues. Just pointing that out. I don't know if erectile disfuction fits in the 'Crisis' section? :unsure:
    GildedFlowers likes this.
  11. Flavio

    Flavio Member

    Sorry about that. I'm new around here so I didn't know about the forum for sexual issues, maybe you could transfer this thread to the right section?

    And yes, ED is a crisis situation for those who suffer from it.
  12. Flavio

    Flavio Member

    Thank you for sharing this. Yes, ED can totally ruin a man's life. Impotence is no joke. It's cruel and disgusting when people laugh about it and underestimate its impact.

    There is currently a new gene therapy under preparation that shows great promise and it should be available in a couple of years. Let's hope the FDA doesn't raise any obstacles.
  13. InnerStrength

    InnerStrength Well-Known Member

    Hey to the OP, did you get your testosterone levels checked?
  14. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    One important thought. Sex and coitus are not equivalent ideas.

    You still have fingers, you still have a tongue, you can get toys. An erection is not necessary for a male orgasm [though inability to orgasm can come hand-in-hand with ED; not sure if this is the case or not.] Barring that, even, you can still experience non-orgasmic sexual pleasure.

    I don't think this is the end of the world, nor even the end of your sex life. Don't lose hope, don't give up on sex, just try new things. I personally prefer kissing to sex... You'll find something you both like.
  15. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    I think it would be crushing. My mood, personally, is heavily dependent on sex, and generally my mood crashes are related to it in some manner.
  16. jryan3434

    jryan3434 Active Member

    I too suffer from ED. I am 26 and it has been going on for six years now. I too lost a girl I thought I was going to marry right around the same time this happened. I still have great anger concerning her, and although I no longer love her, I have never gotten over what she did to me because I have never been able to enter another relationship due to my physical problem. On the other hand, I doubt she has had more than a passing though about me in the last six years. I dont come around this forum much anymore because it generally doesnt do me any good, but I happened to stop by today.

    For every single day of the last six years I have wanted desperately to die. I went from being an extremely intelligent, aggressive, tough, capable young man with just about as bright a future as you can get, to a miserable depressive who cant focus on anything. After spending four years after college aimlessly moving through dead end jobs in different states, just because I was ashamed to be in one place too long lest someone find out what the deal really was with me, I am now in graduate school. Because a problem like this is never off your mind, it is nearly impossible for me to focus on my work. I know that if I could focus like I did before this started I would be getting straight A's and blowing my competition out of the water. Instead I scrape by while watching happy young people in my class who couldnt hold a candle to my former self intellectually out compete me simply because they can focus on their studies longer than 30 seconds without thinking about the fact that they are impotent.

    Certainly I miss sex, but these days I could frankly care less about it. The shame, lonliness, humiliation, and lack of confidence and power that this problem brings far outweighs the physical frustration. Having to live forever with a terrible secret and having to constantly avoid normal social situations because you dont want people to find out is pretty shitty as well. Until you have a problem such as this you never realize to what extent sexuality permeates every sphere of social and professional interaction, and ambition.

    A few years ago I decided to stay alive for the sake of my parents, as I am an only child. Sometimes I wonder though if having a socially stunted, impotent son who will never achieve the happiness and success that he should have is better than having a dead one. I guess I have have decided that for my parents it is, at least to a marginal extent, so I press on.

    I have one goal in my life and one goal only- to survive until the death of my parents while protecting them as much as possible from the reality of what my life has become. I have no personal goals other than this, and I go on knowing that enduring this terrible pain will never bring me personal happiness or relief until I am finally free to die. I have not known one sober hour of peace or joy in six years, and I know I will not know another one for the rest of however many years I must be punished on this earth.


    I will try to avoid commenting on your unfathomable stupidity and ignorance. To say what I would like would probably get me banned from the forum.
  17. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Have you tried maxoderm? My husband went thru a phase of not being able to get it up. Pills didnt work so we tried the maxoderm - problem cured. Now he doesnt need it anymore but when he was going thru that tuff time it corrected the problem.
  18. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    sigh and i was looking for ways to cut my sex drive. why do ther wrong people get the wrong things happen to them.
  19. SadDude87

    SadDude87 Well-Known Member

    Mild venous leak & fucked up suspensory ligs here from accident as a child. When masturbation is better than sex 99 times out of 100, and you're not a spiritual person it's hard to find motivation for anything.
  20. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Right, folks. I've deleted 9 posts from this thread, for either being unhelpful or just to clean up the replies to the unhelpful post (which is now deleted).

    Can we please have no more unthoughtful and unhelpful comments, and get back to supporting the OP.