I've noticed a lot of people here being depressed/suicidal/ranting about things such as having few or no friends, being very shy, having been bullied in grade school, very inward focused, not having accomplished much as others, not being as sucessful, feeling like a failure. Problem with me is, that I suffer from all of them, and its much worse. Like, I haven't had friends for many, many years, just sticking with my parents and little brother. All I've done my life is play videogames, watch TV, computer, etc. 19 years old, really pathetic. Everyone else is better than me, the people I know are all better than me at everything. Why do I have to be the most inferior person on the planet? Inferior to every one damn it? Well, it sounds as though I'm belittling the problems of others aren't I? I'm just ranting right now, so I'm probably not making much sense and apologize if I hurt anyone's feelings. Its just that I have to be the biggest loser that was ever lived and I have to commit suicide, there can't be a bigger loser than me. I dunno if I can fix my problems. Everyone will say I have so much ahead of me, blah blah. I myself feel that life is alright and has its great things, but its just ME thats the problem, its just ME thats not fit for living. All these years of not having developed properly, not having friends, not going out, not doing anything has really made me a fucked up person not worthy of living in the real world, I don't have what it takes to survive. Should I give up or keep going? I know very well that at least my parents and little brother will be devastated by my loss. Is that enough for me not to commit suicide? I don't want them to suffer the loss of a loved one, I can only imagine the experience right now. People here will say stuff like "Oh, dont worry, I'm actually a bigger loser than you". Well, thanks for the words, but it really is me that the biggest loser. Now, is that my depressing activing telling me that or am I really the biggest loser? You all will say its the former but I think its the latter. What am I going to do? I can't give up can I? I should just keep fighting no matter what, try go go out and socialize and develop myself? Its so difficult and I feel that few if anyone can relate to me since I'm the only one with all of these ailments and being such a big loser. I wanted to say that yes, I absolutely love videogames, computers, comics and animation to death. I don't want to truly die, I want to live, I want to be happy. But I already have given up hope because I am so abnormal and so developmentally fucked up that I can't survive in this sort of world. If you guys would please perhaps go to wikipedia.com and look up hikikomori, that would sorta describe the hole I am in.