I suppose I should introduce myself

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by violetskies, Apr 7, 2009.

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  1. violetskies

    violetskies Member


    I guess I should put a little about me here. I don't really know what to say. I guess I put a lot of my current situation on the other thread I blurted out at the crisis section.

    I am a 32 year old female, but on the inside I feel about 5 years old and terrified. Some days it's as if there is no outer layer to protect me from all the things life throws at you. On these days I am just raw. Today is one of those days.

    It's been probably 9 years since I had a "normal" kind of a life. I used to say 8 years, until I realised how long I'd been saying 8 years. That's kind of depressing right there. Diagnosis wise.. I have ptsd, depression, bulimia, asperger's syndrome and social phobia (although the social phobia term I had to figure out for myself since no one on the nhs seems bothered enough to diagnose why I'm terrified at being around people).

    I am alone, I am hurting, I am afraid. I was a fighter, but that is long gone. Now all that's left is pain. I try to keep myself going because that's what I'm supposed to do. But it gets harder and harder to do what I'm supposed to like a good little girl.

    I never seem to do anything for myself. I suffer the "support" until I can't take it anymore and then run away. Again, because I'm supposed to. I never seem to have the desire to want anything now. I only know what I don't want. I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to be stuck in this place anymore. I don't want everything to be as difficult as it has been and continues to be.

    I wish I could get the real me back again, but that person is long gone. The real me died when my life fell apart. I feel so empty inside.
  2. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF Violetskies.

    I hope you'll find the support you need here.

    The real you is still inside you, sometimes they just get a bit buried & lost with all the other stuff that's going on. Don't give up hope & she'll come back.

    :hug: Claire xx
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Violetskies,
    Welcome to the forum!! You will find the support you need here..And you will also find friends who actually understand what your talking about..Sit back and read the threads on the forums and you will find several similarities to yourself..Take your time and just browse around.. When you ar eready to talk we will be here to listen...
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. I am sorry to hear you are suffering to the extent you are. You stated that you know you don't want to feel like this. Set yourself a goal. Work on changing one small thing at a time. The you that you wish to be is still there although buried very deeply. If you can remember what that was like, you can get there again
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Welcome to sf :)
  6. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forums.
  7. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    welcome x
  8. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    Welcome to SF!
  9. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    Welcome to the Forum, I hope you find the support you need her

  10. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Hello and a warm welcome to the forum , look forward to chatting with you :smile:
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