I never really expected that I would be reduced to this. I would like to think I'm a practical man, and I've always relied on my intelligence to sort through problems; but after a great deal of thought my wandering mind only ever returns to one thing. I also never thought myself to be a coward, and I'm not entirely sure that that is the right term to use, but I am scared, and I can only find one way to stop being scared. As I said, I'm a practical man. I've managed to tie up most loose ends. There are still a few things to finish up though, and so life must go on for the time being. I haven't got a will as such, but I've written a few letters to certain people, detailing what to do with my things. I have no dependents so my debts (student loan, car loan) will be paid out of my estate (I have health and death insurance at work that will cover this), and my named next of kin will get a lump sum of 4x my salary. I realise this is scant consolation but at least I can be of some help eh? It's amazing just how ones life can turn around. Things were going so well, and then all of a sudden things were no longer going. I know that the human mind can imagine terrible things, but I never imagined just how claustrophobic, terrifying, and lonely it can be inside ones own head. Heading off to work now. Thanks for reading.