I suppose this is the right place

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by timthebean, Jan 2, 2009.

  1. timthebean

    timthebean Member

    I never really expected that I would be reduced to this.

    I would like to think I'm a practical man, and I've always relied on my intelligence to sort through problems; but after a great deal of thought my wandering mind only ever returns to one thing. I also never thought myself to be a coward, and I'm not entirely sure that that is the right term to use, but I am scared, and I can only find one way to stop being scared.

    As I said, I'm a practical man. I've managed to tie up most loose ends. There are still a few things to finish up though, and so life must go on for the time being.

    I haven't got a will as such, but I've written a few letters to certain people, detailing what to do with my things. I have no dependents so my debts (student loan, car loan) will be paid out of my estate (I have health and death insurance at work that will cover this), and my named next of kin will get a lump sum of 4x my salary. I realise this is scant consolation but at least I can be of some help eh?

    It's amazing just how ones life can turn around. Things were going so well, and then all of a sudden things were no longer going.

    I know that the human mind can imagine terrible things, but I never imagined just how claustrophobic, terrifying, and lonely it can be inside ones own head.

    Heading off to work now. Thanks for reading.
  2. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    All we are is a brain in some four limbed body with eye sockets to see and a mouth to run the engine... depressing isn't it, what a world this is.
  3. timthebean

    timthebean Member

    Last night it was confirmed that its all over.

    Given that Ive now sown up every detail I needed too, I am going to try killing myself tonight.
  4. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    i hope you are ok tim
    here to talk if you want to
  5. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    i am not sure what has happened to lead you to feel this way but all i can say is please reconsider. opportunity presents when we least expect it and you do not know what is around the corner. what seems so awful now may have reason behind it that you can only see in retrospect. talk to us... rather than killing yourself. please
  6. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    Since this is in the relationship forum im gueessing your possibly upset over a breakup? More details please if you are still there. That is NOT a reason to die.
  7. timthebean

    timthebean Member

    Thank you for everyones concern.

    I left work on Monday early, with the intention of killing myself. Came home to get something and a friend of mine was here and stopped me. Thats where I got.

    I've been referred to a specialist on Friday this week, and now I guess we'll see what happens.

    Yes its about a relationship breakup, and yes, she really is worth it.
  8. timthebean

    timthebean Member

    Well, I'm still here.

    I tried suicide, and was saved by my housemates. Fast forward a month and I'm in mandatory therapy and on anti depressants.

    Life is a combination of feeling absolutely nothing, and feeling so low nothing has ever felt that bad.

    Time is a healer; I'm sure.