I survived

Discussion in 'Domestic Abuse' started by Izziebabystar, Aug 10, 2013.

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  1. Izziebabystar

    Izziebabystar Well-Known Member

    here is my story.
    4 years ago I met this guy lets call him adam. he was a year older then me but he make me feel special. I started skipping college to spend time with him and soon started failing my course. so I quit and ran away from home to stay with him. for the next year I sofa surfed with him and it was okish I suppose. anyway. we got a flat together and he stared calling me all these names I just put it down to stress. then I fell pregnant. tp begin with he was happy then he changed and started pushing me around. by this point he had gotten into my head and he told me I was going to have an abortion. I didn't feel like I could say no to him so I went along with him and had the abortion. after that things got worse. he would push me around hit me. throw me around, strangle me then we split up as I told him I couldn't do it anymore but he wouldn't leave and the flat was in both our names so I couldn't make him. then he started to rape me. soon after I feel pregnant again. and he wanted me to have an abortion. I couldn't do it again so I ran away from him. after he battered me and a lovelly man in the street helped me and took me to the police. I never pressed charges.

    I then got my life back on track. but because I was pregnant I found my ex again as I didn't want to be with him but wanted my unborn child to know him. that's when I met this other guy lets call him jake. anyway jake was living in the same house as adam. on my 20th birthday when I was 7 months pregnant adam was screaming at me. jake came in and had ago at him telling him he should not speak to me like that. jake an I became really close. he was on tag when I met him. but was honest about what he had done. then he ended up going into prison for a month as he had gotten home late on his tag a few times. anyway I sent him money etc as we had gotten together a few weeks before I had given birth to my daughter. he had been so helpful and loving. I couldn't fault him.

    while jake was in prison he was getting insecure and accuing me of cheating etc. when he came out of prison he moved in with me. and then things started to go really wrong. he was drinking everyday. and spending a large portion of our money on weed.then I invited 2 of my friends over for a few drinks when my daughter was 6 months old. one of my friends had to leave early as her mum was ill. and I went to bed as I was tired. next thing I know I get up and walk in on jake and my best friend having sex on my sofa. we had a huge argument and I stupidly forgave him (although I never forgot). after that the name calling started. he was drinking more and more and was hardly ever home. every now and again he would hit me. but I kept telling myself it wasn't as bad as when I was with adam. so I stayed. then one night he came home with a friction burn on his willy. he told me he had done it to himself. I knew he hadn't. anyway. turned out everyone knew for defo that he had slept with a 40 year old women from the pub. and I was the last for it to come out to. jake had the cheek to shout it out in the middle of the city centre infront of everyone I know. yet I still tried to make it work

    one night he came home and we had I fight. id gotten to the point I was fighting back. my neighbour came down and said she was calling the police. (the police had been called on countless other occasions but I had always took him back and dropped charges) anyway while I was speaking to the neightbor my daughter woke up and jake had gotten her out of the cot and was trying to get her to sleep. I asked for her back as he was very drunk he could barely stand. he refused and every time I tried to get her back he went to strangle her. the police came and it was an hour until he finally handed my little girl over. this was the last straw. I took him to court and got a restraining order. and he was sentenced to 3 months in prison. not a lot in my opinion but it was better then nothing. this ended in aug last year.

    since then I have gotten my life back on track. my daughter is now 2 and has been ahead on all of her milestones. shes a very happy and loving little girl despite what she went through as a baby. I have gotten my life back on track. I am still single as im waiting to find the right person as I will not go through that for a 3rd time. I now has a lovelly 2 bedroom house and close friends and a pet bunny. and I start a uni degree in October. going through what I did was had but I would do it all again. as the person I am today is strong and detrmined.

    I wanted to share my story to show those that are experancing domestic abuse that you can get through it. and you can put your life back together, if you need anyone to talk to feel free to message me I talk openly at what I have been through as I want to spread the word. also if you are going through domestic abuse and want to leave. please message me first. I can give you option so you can leave safly

    good luck to all and I hope my story helped
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am glad you are safe now hun and your child is doing so well hugs
  3. ava321

    ava321 Active Member

    thank you for taking the time to write that, i'm sure there are many people who can relate.

    happy you have survived and your child is doing wonderful.
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