Its been exactly 1 year and 4 months..since my last suicide attempt. No one knew of my problems untill it happend. No one wanted to know.
It was really early in the morning..probably 3 am. and i had been crying for hours, and i was bleeding from cutting. i was completely freaking out. No one even woke up to my screaming. They were peacefully sleeping, while i was in the most pain i'd ever been in. I took all the pills i could find..cried some more..cut some more and passed out. I guess at about 3:45 i woke up and started puking. I was in so much pain it hurt to move. I knew i had failed, and i had to clean up my mess before they woke up.
My alarm clock went off at 5 am. and i hadn't slept. I didn't shower or talk. i just went to school. When i got there Jea. came up to me feeling my head and asking me why i was so pale, i couldn't say anything i was completely numb. But she freaked out and found the counselor. They made me sit in an office for a couple hours, asking me questions to which i did not reply. Then they called the police, a social worker and my mom. (my dad was working out of town) They all stared at me, asking me why, my mom crying and trying to hold me. Then the police took me away to the hospital, i had a drug test done, and then it was off to an institution.
I spent a month there. Scared and alone. I had one visit. No friends...and i regretted not taking more pills.
When my mom came to pick me up. We didn't talk, she didn't look at me and we drove straight home. When i went inside there was no happy greeting, everyone just stared..and glared. They all hated what i had done, i ruined our family.
BUT NO ONE ASKED ME WHY I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO ONE! More than a year later they still haven't asked me WHY! what kind of family doesn't want to know why a 14 year old girl desperately tried to end her life!?
It was really early in the morning..probably 3 am. and i had been crying for hours, and i was bleeding from cutting. i was completely freaking out. No one even woke up to my screaming. They were peacefully sleeping, while i was in the most pain i'd ever been in. I took all the pills i could find..cried some more..cut some more and passed out. I guess at about 3:45 i woke up and started puking. I was in so much pain it hurt to move. I knew i had failed, and i had to clean up my mess before they woke up.
My alarm clock went off at 5 am. and i hadn't slept. I didn't shower or talk. i just went to school. When i got there Jea. came up to me feeling my head and asking me why i was so pale, i couldn't say anything i was completely numb. But she freaked out and found the counselor. They made me sit in an office for a couple hours, asking me questions to which i did not reply. Then they called the police, a social worker and my mom. (my dad was working out of town) They all stared at me, asking me why, my mom crying and trying to hold me. Then the police took me away to the hospital, i had a drug test done, and then it was off to an institution.
I spent a month there. Scared and alone. I had one visit. No friends...and i regretted not taking more pills.
When my mom came to pick me up. We didn't talk, she didn't look at me and we drove straight home. When i went inside there was no happy greeting, everyone just stared..and glared. They all hated what i had done, i ruined our family.
BUT NO ONE ASKED ME WHY I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO ONE! More than a year later they still haven't asked me WHY! what kind of family doesn't want to know why a 14 year old girl desperately tried to end her life!?