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I think about leaving the world a lot.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by deferred dream, Dec 17, 2009.

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  1. deferred dream

    deferred dream Well-Known Member

    Not every single day, but many times a week. I just feel like I'm waiting for the "right time". My husband is a really great guy, but I always feel like maybe he doesn't know me and that's the only reason he thinks he loves me and when he leaves me, I know I'm going to fall apart and that will be what breaks me. Sometimes I think about leaving earlier so I don't have to feel the pain of him abandoning me.
  2. Blanca

    Blanca Well-Known Member

    :hug: :hug: :hug:
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi and welcome to site.
    I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Do you know what has caused the suicidal thoughts?
    Please tell us more about yourself :hug:
  4. orangejulius

    orangejulius Well-Known Member

    First off, is you name refering to the Poem by Langston Hughes? It sounds like you are a very smart and interesting person. It also sounds like you care about your husband a lot.

    Let your husband know that you are feeling this way. You said he's a great guy; If he is, he won't leave you, he will support you, and he will always love you. That's what marriage is for, to support and love each other.

    I really care about you, and don't want another good person like you contemplating leaving us all. Please talk with your husband! Let it all out, and he will help you. If this doesn't help, please let us know.
  5. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    i agree
  6. sincredibly

    sincredibly Member

    do you ever wonder where you'll "go" if you do decide to remove yourself from this "plane of existence" via suicide?
  7. Xian

    Xian Well-Known Member

    Don't leave him for that reason. The thing about mental illness is that those who suffer often selfishly cause others to suffer. I've had my heart broken by people like that before. Its not cool.
  8. mrhope

    mrhope Member

    I think that when someone feels like those around them (spouse, family close friends) don't really know them, it's probably accurate to some degree. Typically in this situation your life is not built on as solid a foundation as it could be. When the foundation gives way it's devastating.

    I had a perfect wife, life and everthing but I sometimes I felt like it was too good to be true and I would end up alone. I've aways been a little depressed and reserved and never really wanted to socialize with friends much. I was a great father and a dedicated husband, but became more withdrawn and depressed over the last few years as a result of some minor events in my life.

    Well, my wife of 20 years ended up cheating and telling me she felt she had wasted her life with me, had probably never loved me, and had no feelings at all for me. Family and everyone looking in from the outside was shocked. She had never even mentioned being unhappy. This has put me over the edge and now I'm on the downward spiral.

    My point in all this is to encourage you to do something NOW. If it's depression, seek treatment. You still have your marriage and a husband you love a lot so please take action and find a way to enjoy him and all you have in your life.
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