My AAP's havent been working for the past 3 weeks and I finally weened myself off of them, with nurse practitioners permission. Well, here's a twist to my story. My nurse practitioner told me she wants to stop seeing me and referred me to somebody else, who I can't see until July 3rd. My mom called today after bringing me home from the psych er room and they might be able to squeeze me in on Friday. What the fuck is the meaning of life? It's this - to WAIT. and WAIT. and WAIT some more. I can't wait and wait and wait. You know those people who are on bathsalts and eat peoples faces? You know those schizophrenics who kill police officers and moms and dads and children because they thought they were aliens? That's where I'm heading. I wouldn't wish for anybody in the world to have active psychosis that is as bad as mine. Maybe yours is worse, I don't know and CBA to judge, but mine is pretty fucked up right now. Besides, there's nothing left for me to do here. I lost my boyfriend, I lost my sanity, I lost virtually all of my friends, People call me batshit crazy all the time, A FEW people in chat are rude inconsiderate assholes and blame me for my problems and ostracize me. I won't make it in the "real world", the easiest way out is to do it with my own hands. So thanks, thanks for "supporting" me. thanks for "being there" when you talk about playdoh and bellybutton lint. Thanks for wallowing in self-pity in triggering and getting offended when I want to talk about TRIGGERING subjects - the room where I'm pretty fucking sure I belong. Anyways, that's enough. I won't be here much longer so I honestly don't give a shit if you reply on this post negatively. Just remember me as a person who loved to keep chat active and full of random odd topics. Some of you have truly impacted my life and I love you guys that have.