I (think I) have made up my mind...

Discussion in 'Positive Feelings and Motivational Messages' started by ThoseEmptyWalls, Apr 30, 2008.

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  1. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    I called the stupid (I will edit out the rest of what I call the girl) case worker today. She said that she could force me to comply with the services shes offering to me and at this point she was not going to try. She also said that at this time she had no reason to try and force me to give up my 'personal' medical records if I were to go to another office. So I called up the office my mom works at - found out that I cant be seen there since shes an employie and they have a new rule about that. So I called up this place about an hours drive from here. I made sure it was not the office my uncle works at (its not, theres three of them in that town..) and set myself up a appointment there. I can get 100% free services - medication, therapy, doctors visits, and more. I am going May 6th for an intake. Which is pretty much a history, social history, medicatal history, ect. Then within a week I can be set up for the services that I opt for. I am pretty sure that I have made up my mind to give medications another try and maybe even therapy (depending on if I can get doctor, therapy, med picks up on the same day)..My mom said she would help pay for my gas and things that I will need to make it to the appointments.. I have decided (and I hope my mind lets me keep it this way) that my boy is my boy and I will be damned if the stupid state steps in and takes him, expecially since I am doing NOTHING wrong... I thought this was a positive step for me, so I wanted to post it here...
  2. Making 'peace' with yourself, no matter the circumstances (or sometimes especially because of them) is a positive thing...no one can teach you how really, and once you do get there, it's a singular feeling. I'm glad for you :smile:

    The drive to get there and back sounds like an 'inconvenience', sure - but it might also afford you the time to reflect, before, and after...I hope it all works out for you (it sounds like you've put a lot of effort into this!)
  3. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Yes, the hour up and the hour back (thats when weather is good and theres nothing stopping or slowing down the traffic) is a really big inconvenience for me. The first reason is because my car is old and wont last forever (and I really dont have the money to buy another one and I cant afford the payment on a loan for one). The other reason is that I will have to get the money for gas off my mom for basically every appointment (which means she could give me as little as 40 dollars a month or 80 dollars plus a month) and I hate to take so much money from her... She says that she does not mind to give me the money because I am helping myself. That does not mean that I feel any better about taking it...

    Im still trying to come to terms and make peace with my situation (my mental illness plus the other crap going on around here) and honestly I have not really even accepted it yet. But I am ready to deal with it...
  4. Hmm...gotta tell ya' - the last line of your first post sounded like you were at least resolved (which is the next best thing to 'peace', no?)...Getting out there and getting the help one needs is rarely if ever easy (I think most of us know that here). So, it's near the end of the day (well, here anywaze), and look what you've achieved... :smile:

    As for your mum giving you the money for gas, it seems she's truly supportive of what you're doing - that, my friend, is a definite plus (and no, you don't need rose-coloured glasses to see it). You can accept it with grace and gratitude (which she may yearn for you to do, as it seems she really wants to help)...or you might look into alternatives if there are any (I dunno where you live - but it sounds like you have to go out of town??). Are there any bus lines that you could buy like a monthly or a weekly pass for, or something like that? Just a thought...(one should never edit while brainstorming)...
  5. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    We have cabs that come down this far but they cost way to much... We dont have a bus that comes down this far (unless of course your a senior citizen)...
  6. Well then, I guess your only other 'option' at this point, is to accept your Mum's help...which I'm sure she'd love to do for you (for good, or ill, we're always their "babies") :wink:
  7. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Yes, I will have to accept her help. I dont really want to go to see these new doctors. I would ruther just have everyone leave me alone but I have to face it and come to see that, that is not an option. I also dont want to see the new doctors because Im not sure my information will be kept private (as those jerks can petition my files there since its a private account and I wont sign for them to see my files) plus I dont really want to get back on the medication.. I dont see where I have much choice but to take the medication right now though.. Well, I guess I have to accept that, this is my (crappy) life right now...
  8. Well...honestly I have no idea what the specific laws are where you live, but as far as I know...Patient/Doctor confidentiality is about as "sacred" as we can contrive within a Big Brother system (with very, very few exceptions to it). Though I also know that it does indeed get breeched sometimes...(yet there are repercussions for such trangressions - although a whole nother bunch of rigmarole).

    Anywaze, I'm not sure of the reasons you won't sign permission (for the doctor's use only, of course - all that damned fine print). The only reason I might hesitate is if the information/records/files would be given to an Insurance Company (which can also wreak havoc!!!!). Other than that, I can only see that any doctor who is treating you (no matter what it is in regard to) would better have all the information available to them in order to address your particular unique issues and problems. I think it might actually 'expedite' things in that regard - in order to further be able to help you, instead of you having to re-hash your issues.... Again, not knowing your reasons (which you might not want to share here either)

    And yeah, excuse the pun, but meds can be a bitter pill to swallow - not to mention the "process" of determining which ones work better than others for you. I've been tempted in the last while, as a matter of fact, to go off my own meds as I'm feeling infinitely better. But I also know that doing so might be a risk. So call me "chicken", but for now, there is NO way I'm going to stop if I might (even if it's a small chance) - go back to the way I was before... (as well, when going on and off meds - their potential capacity & effectiveness may be diminished, and it can take even longer to see results... so I'm not about to gamble at this point)
  9. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Well..When you get into trouble with the law, state agencies, whatever..They can place you into a program without having a court order but you have to agree to it and once you agree to it and they place you they have the right to access your files at the office they placed you with. If you do move to a private practice you are required to tell them (including where your going and who you are seeing). They cant not access the medical records at the private practice unless you either 1. Sign and give them access or 2. They get a judge to over ride your rights and that gives them access. Also I have no insurance so Im not worried about a employer or someone like that knowing my medical history..
  10. Well, clearly you found this resource on your own and were not placed (and I'm assuming it is a private practice then). So notifying the 'authorities' doesn't mean that your new doctor has to release any information to them, aside from what you stated. Bit confused about your double negatives (above) though. You mean, they "can't" I'm assuming. Other than that, do these circumstances apply specifically to you? Again, I'm not sure...

    Cuz other than that (or maybe even inspite of it), I think it ultimately would be beneficial for the doctor, but more importantly, for yourself...

    And THANK GOD there are NO insurance companies involved!!!!! I've heard about nightmare after nightmare whenever they sink their greedy and insatiable teeth into anyone...:mad:

    Damn, how'd this get so negative - being in the Positive Feelings section?!?!?
  11. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    The good part is.... Its suppose to be 100% free services..Well expect for gas money and such but the actual clinic stuff is going to be free (even medications).. I was told Im able to get the free services just need to proove my income - which doesnt need done right away but I plan on doing it anyways... I just hope I can remember to stop and make a copy of the checks tomorrow before I cash them - errm...
  12. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Well my intake at the new clinic is today..On one hand Im looking forward to it thinking that I may be doing something good for myself but on the other side of things Im feeling really crap about it..
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