I do not think it is possible for me to live like this. I have been humiliated, dishonored, ridiculed and treated like shit all my life. Now, after going through all of this, I myself have lost all self confidence and I see my death as end to all my suffering. There is no other option at all because I cannot destroy my past; As long as people who know of my past are alive, my past will live one as well. And I cannot live with my past. So its best that I destroy myself to rid myself of this overwhelming guilt and shame. But, I will not commit suicide now because I want to earn a lot of money after my masters(starting in august this year), pay off the debts that my parents have incurred and then I will commit suicide with nothing to worry about.