I think I'm a-sexual except...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Abby Rose, Oct 31, 2007.

  1. Abby Rose

    Abby Rose Well-Known Member

    Without going into detail, over the course of my life I was sexually assaulted by both a man and a woman. As a result I hate to be touched and the thought of sex, romance, love, etc... repulse me and to cope with this I always assumed that I was asexual. However recently, I've been reading up on the subject and it seems that from a biological standpoint a human being can't be asexual. Although I know it is just collected data and doesn’t directly affect me I find myself questioning my sexuality but not finding any answers. I look at men and I look at women I feel no attraction whatsoever, and I was just wondering if anyone believes a person could be asexual or if they consider themselves to be asexual?
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 31, 2007
  2. Dragon

    Dragon Staff Alumni

    a·sex·u·al (ā-sěk'shōō-əl) Pronunciation Key
    1. Having no evident sex or sex organs; sexless.
    2. Relating to, produced by, or involving reproduction that occurs without the union of male and female gametes, as in binary fission or budding.
    3. Lacking interest in or desire for sex.

    So... yeah, to put it simply, yes you can be asexual ^_^
  3. sadsoul

    sadsoul Member

    Wow, I couldn't imagine going through life without having sexual desires... I have sexual thoughts about women daily... shit i have them every minute lol. When was the last time you saw someone that looked appealing to you? Someone that you wanted to lick, kiss and touch all over?
  4. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    I think they can be. And especially someone, in the same boat as you, you've been totally pushed away from anyting sex related, in your eyes its all bad and was used against you. I dont blame you and i think it'd be normal for you to have no sexualy feelings towards anyone. Though i do think you may wanna address it. I mean if you want future relationships, no im not talking to have sex with, but if you wanna fall in love it may help...
  5. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

  6. simplyme

    simplyme New Member

    I can't remember who said the original quote, but my wife explained it to me this way...horribly paraphrased of course:

    "If I fell in love with a man, I'd want to be with that man. If I fell in love with a woman, I'd want to be with a woman. And if I fell in love with a dog, I'd want to make sweet puppy love."

    Maybe it's less of a need to prove yourself a-sexual and more of a need to assert that you're not attracted to anyone and that you don't want to be with anyone now. That's not to say that sometime down the road you might find you've recovered more from your assaults and have found someone you can be close to, and it's not to say that you have to eventually prove yourself attracted to anything.
  7. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    I agree with the above poster. Love doesn't necessarily need to mean sex or being touched. Maybe, as like the above person said you feel comfortable with someone your feelings may change and you may start to heal and touching may feel not feel so repulsive. Yes I think people can be asexual but I think things change. Maybe there's a fear of intimacy because of your ordeals with men and women and that's completely understandable. Physical intimacy doesn't necessarily mean sex though.
  8. Harrowdown

    Harrowdown Well-Known Member

    what is sex again....?

    yeah people probably can

    but the important thing is does it bother you?
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 22, 2007
  9. Abby Rose

    Abby Rose Well-Known Member

    I don't mind the fact that I don't have any sexual feelings or urges, if anything I consider it to be an advantage, I have lots of free time to myself, I never made a fool of myself in a relationship or in public which emotionally is something I probably couldn't handle, and knowing that sex is not a possibility does make my life less complicated (I think I have nothing else to compare it to. But I know I am denying myself something by not having these feelings and I am desperately lonely for some kind of human connection, a connection I think I could develop in that kind of a relationship. However I truly don't have any physical desire for anybody, I can’t even recognize what is attractive to people in either gender, I look at men and I look at women and I feel nothing physically or mentally, and I have no idea if it is biological or just my mind trying to protect me from something?
  10. RySp123

    RySp123 Guest

    I think you should seek counseling to sort this out. To get an answer as if you are being 'protected' uncounsiously by some blockage or if you are simply as you say
    asexsual. Since you longe for a relationship, I'd think the first is your case. Should
    you meet the mr. or mrs. right, feelings and 'thoughts' would then arise.

    Why not seeek answers with who can really help you sort that out?

    Nothing has been mentioned as if you are capable of having emotions-feelings of bounding with whatever it is human or animals. Have you got friends with who you have grown a deep or profond attatchment? If no, a blockage is interfering.

  11. Crimson_Remorse

    Crimson_Remorse Active Member

    Alexis, I know that asexuality exists, both in people who have been assaulted and those who have not. For the deep connection to people, try to develop true friendship/s, which come without the "attachments". There used to be a large forum dedicated to / run by asexual people - if you want me to try dig it up or just want to talk, PM me :)

    All that said - having been through such horrendous experiences, perhaps counselling could help you out, whether with your (non-existent) sexual feelings and/or with other aspects of life, like finding effective ways to cope with emotions, stress, etc.. Also, clinical depression, some medications, hormonal imbalances, & some other medical conditions are known to diminish or extinguish biological sexual response mechanisms. If it's worrying you, have a chat with your doctor about the medical side & maybe get a referral to a psychologist or counsellor.

    I hope you find peace and friendship.
  12. -Sunset-

    -Sunset- Well-Known Member

    Seems a little unsensitive...