I think I'm done I've tried but I was shown things are always the same

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sparksman, Mar 21, 2013.

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  1. sparksman

    sparksman Banned Member

    The last couple monthes I really took it apon myself to try and improve my life. I was depressed for many years not doing anything but staying in my room for 4 years. I really think that nothing good in life will ever happen and I'll never find love or even some fun with girls. So I decided to give life another shot I got back into school and have been going to class. I want to just do everything on my own and not talk to anyone but what does my teacher always do these child like group assignments that forces me to talk to people. Maybe its a good thing who knows but its annoying. So I'm trudging along just trying to find any good in my life trying to just get by this class. This stupid teacher goes on some rant about getting a study buddy etc. Then this extremely hot girl asks me a question. Now I suck at getting girls and since I've been so depressed about it the past 4 years I don't even talk to them anymore. People however told me class is a good place to meet girls instead of clubs etc where coinceded girls hang out. So I wanted to just talk to her to try and just gain some confidence. So while she was asking questions and I was telling her what to do WHILE BASICALLY THE WHOLE CLASS IS TALKING!!! Then I turn around and see the Teacher and students looking at me all weird. So basically I was coock blocked again like always even by some miracle a girl wants to talk to me someone else will always come by to make sure I fail. It always happens that way with me. I don't even know why I try living or anything. I feel its better to not exist anymore than in this society that hates me.
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am sorry of the past difficulties and applaud your motivation to take it upon yourself to make positive changes. I am glad you had the opportunity to speak to a girl and work on your confidence some. I do not think a conspiracy of fate ended the conversation - simply it was class and that is the nature of classes. Just an opportunity to talk again as the conversation was never finished -- at least that would be the attitude I would take an dtry to take advantage off.

    It has been an excellent start to your efforts but turning around four years or more in a month or two is a little over ambitious maybe. You now know for certain you can interact with women when given the opportunity so keep yourself involved in life so those opportunities continue to present themselves. Even Don Juan and James Bond need more than 1 try every four years.

    I think you have taken great initiative and hope you continue to build on that and get in a better place.


    Take Care and Be Safe

    Ben
     
  3. sparksman

    sparksman Banned Member

    I apperciate you listening to what I have to say. That right there helps a lot. You see I'm trying to get better and I keep seeing signs that nothing will change. So for someone else to say that maybe it was coicedence and not by fate makes me feel a little reasured because I tell myself that but I'm getting to a point I think its fate so its good to hear it from someone else.
     
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