I think I'm done.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Tash2112, Jun 13, 2016.

  1. Tash2112

    Tash2112 New Member

    My family disowned me, I'm no longer welcome at my church and my friends want nothing to do with me and it's all for being gay.
    When people ask me how I am before I can think I say "I'm fine"
    In my heart I want just one of them to call me out and say they know I'm lying but they won't.
    I'm terrified of asking for help and Indon't know what to do anymore. 3 suicide attempts and I feel like I'm more isolated now then ever before.
     
  2. Asdlax

    Asdlax INFJ 1w2

    Hello, perhaps you already know but there are a lot of LGBTQ community online. You can find support there. Remember you are not alone, reach out and form connections with those who are willing to understand. I know it must be crushing, I came out two years ago. My situation at home was never so beautiful and I had only worsen it. Tell me, did you just come out? If so, may I congratulate you? That was very brave. Be proud of yourself and who you are.

    Give them some time. A year or two. They may be strongly against it right now due to the shock, they may never approve it, but in time your friends and family might grow indifferent about your sexuality and eventually realise that YOU are still YOU. And if they don't, then you certainly deserve better people in your life. Meanwhile, strengthen your bond with someone who genuinely cares and accepts you. (Start looking and good luck) Until then, if you need someone to talk to one-on-one, feel free to pm me.

    Welcome to the forum, Tash.
     
    total eclipse likes this.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorry you are being treated this way. Your friends were never true friends if they so easily walked away from you because of your sexuality. Your family need to accept you for who you are and i do hope in time they will. You keep talking here ok you will see people do care. Stay safe ok talk to someone your trust your doctor anyone but don't be ashamed of who you are .
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi hun and welcome to the forums, you are not alone here, we will get you through this. Who does talk to you? im sure the folks asking how you are might genuinely care but in this state of mind you are in you might feel they don't. You are gay. that's not a crime or a life sentence, is moving an option?, those people that shunned you should be ashamed of themselves, one quote comes to mind ''go on judege me. just remember to be perfect for the rest of your life''. I hope you will get through this difficult time and if we have anything to do with it, you will :)
     
  5. Tash2112

    Tash2112 New Member

    Thank you, I have a few friends left that still speak to me (maybe 10 or so) but I'm finding myself pulling away from them. Not because I don't want them to help but because I feel like such a burden on them constantly. I have tried to open up to a few of them but whenever I do I shut off really quickly. I know what I want to say but I just can't find the right time (where they aren't busy) or place to say it. It's a constant worry of being a burden.
    I think the worst part for me at the moment is that I've listened to everyone's comments for so long that I've started believing them. I feel undeserving of help.
     
  6. Tash2112

    Tash2112 New Member

    Thank you for the support. I come from a very culturally strict and religious background, it has been just over a year now since I came out and if anything the hateful messages and phone calls have gotten worse. I didn't actually choose to come out, someone I dated when I was 18 decided to tell some family friends and the information just travelled along until it hit my family.
     
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Screw what everyone else says, its your life that matters , I don't think they would still be friends with you if they were ''against'' you. If they accepted you were gay and everyone else didn't, that says a LOT. It speaks volumes. Try by starting to say you feel a bit under the weather and go from there. You will know they are true friends if they accept you/stick around are mentally unstable aswell. You can talk to us here 24/7 and believe me when I say you are not alone in your thoughts and feelings, we try our hardest to understand here. I am glad you made the post and so glad you are speaking up about it, kudos to you. Amd you are welcome hun :)
     
    betteroffunknown likes this.
  8. Asdlax

    Asdlax INFJ 1w2

    I see, so it was unintended. You are brave and strong nonetheless for embracing your sexuality and staying true to yourself. Don't give up and stand proud. Again, remember that you deserve better people in your life. It's not your fault if they can't accept you.