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I Think I'm Gay

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by googonz, Oct 14, 2007.

  1. googonz

    googonz Active Member

    I am sixteen, and for the past year, I have been wondering if I was gay. When I was about 13 I started having weird feelings towards other guys, but not girls. I thought it was just a stage so I just went along with it, and now I think it is just who I am. Let me explain a little more.

    I am sexually attracted to guys, that took alot to type right there, but I also like girls, I can tell when a girl is hot, and I enjoy looking at girls, but I don't know if I like them sexually. My Sex Ed. teacher in 7th grade, said that guys start to like girls around the age of 16, and I am starting to like them more than i di, but I still prefer to think about guys, and it is kind of creepy...

    Am I really a hetrosexual, just waiting to bloom, or am I just gay, and trying to mentally convince myself that I am straight? I can't take it. And furthermore, if I acually AM gay, there is absolutley no way I can tell my parents. I know my dad will be really disappointed in me, and I know my mom will be too. They are huge mega Christians and they think that being gay is peverse and immoral. I managed to hide my sexuality inside of me so far, and no one has even caught on to the fact that I am gay, but it just doesn't feel right. Like, when my friends, who are guys that I am NOT attracted to, my friends are just friends nothing more, when they talk about girls and vagina, and breats, i go along and stuff but I just don't feel comfortable talking about it.

    Please help me, and I apologize for the typing and crappy organization, my mind is so bogged down because of this, will I have to live my whol life wondering if I am just going to be some gay guy who will never really accomplish anything. I get good grades in school, almost a 4.0GPA, and I want to become a doctor, get married, and have some kids, but I don't know if I will ever like women enough to do that.

    Please help, I want to be straight, and I want to have meaning in life, help me.
  2. Fatman1966

    Fatman1966 Antiquitie's Friend

    Take a big breath and relax, try not to panic.

    If you are gay, then you are gay, and there is nothing you can do about it, believe me I have tried, it doesn't have to be this massive thing that ruins your life, although it seems like it now, try not to be in sucha rush to put yourself in the gay or straight box, it's early days at 16, all sorts of things happen, it doesn't make you gay.

    When I was 16 I had "relationships" with other boys, most of them are now married with children, they turned out not to be gay, just curious, I turned out to be gay one, it just took me a long long time to accept it and to be fair that not a life experience I would wish on anyone, it almost killed me and is still a cause of great pain in my life to this day.

    Being gay isn't who you are, its just a small part of you, anyone that really matters will be able to see that, they might not like it, but they will come round in the end, if I am going to be judged by anyone then it will be for the things I have done in my life, the people I have helped, the friends I have made, the way I have treated others, even others that have treated me poorly, not for who I go to bed with, at 16 though it is all about wanting to get into another guys pants, but in time you'll see that is not that important.

    Take your time and see how things go, do what makes you happy, deep down inside you will know what that is, don't live your life trying to do the right thing to make other people happy, I have walked that path and it mad me pretty miserable for like 24 years ! I'm 40 now !

    Be true to yourself, be the best person you can be, that's about the best any of us can do, its a scary time for you, but it will get better, if you let it.
  3. googonz

    googonz Active Member

    Thanks, that meant alot to me right there. I don't know if I am curious or not, I don't really want to "be" with another guy, I would rather date girls, but when uit comes to sex, that would be questionable. I hope I'm just a little bicurious or something, I don't want to be gay, and especially in today's unforgiving Christian society. People are idiots, they don't understand that it ISN'T our faults. We CAN'T chose our sexual orientation. I would feel alot better if people understood that.
  4. Fatman1966

    Fatman1966 Antiquitie's Friend

    The people that really care about you will totaly get that it isn't something you chose, may be not right now, but they will in the end.

    Who on earth would choose to put themselves through that kind of pain and suffering, that being "different" brings to someone at such an early age, no one, so why are there still so many gay people in the world, because its not a choice, its just the way you are, thats the way it was for me anyway.

    there are plenty of young guys out there that are feeling the same things as you, even in the town you live, I would put my life savings on it.

    I tried for nearly 40 years to deny who I was really was, I decided to be single rather than gay, I had "relationships" with women, that just made me feel worse, not only was I making a mess of my own life, but messing up some one elses too, I am a better person than that, so I stayed single, through fear, embarissmnet, gulit, cowardlyness and shame, what for, why, because tried as hard as I might, it was not something I could change, I wouldn't want even a fraction of the pain that has brought to my life, to touch anyone elses.

    My brother work with a guy, the first time they met the subject of women came up, and this guy just said something along the lines of I preffer guys not girls, like he was talking about the weather or something, it just wasn't a big deal to him, thats the way it should be, if people dont like it then tough.

    I have told nearly all my friends, some I have known for more time than you have been alive, most of which were more upset with me for living like I have for all those years, with out telling them, with out moving on in life, for putting myself through that pain, they like me for who I am, not who I am attracted to, my brothers are not quite so supportive, but they are just worried for me I guess.

    The people that I care about, that I have told, that I trust, say it doesn't make any difference to them, they just want me to be happy.
  5. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    god I feel for you if your parents are bible thumping Christians. I came across a Christian at work and he said that 'people choose to be gay' which is utter bollocks. I am not actually gay but I did question my sexuality whilst I was a Christian and of course that made me feel bad.
    At that age, it could well be that you can't be quite sure of your sexual orientation yet. Maybe you'll end up bisexual.
    I'm not sure if I could be able to help you much, I might, if you need to talk then you can PM me :)
  6. missdiana86

    missdiana86 Active Member

    if u r sure u r a gay - just take it as it is - if u like guys not girls there's nothing to be ashamed of - thank god nowadays being a gay doesn't mean to hide it all the time...being a teen always mean being not self-confident, so i can imagine what u feel realising u r not like the majority of people...i say THE MAJORITy, that means u r not the only one. :blink:
  7. Fatman1966

    Fatman1966 Antiquitie's Friend

    People that go on about the bilble saying being gay is wrong, are kind of missing the point, its says lots of things, most of which have had there meanings twisted over the years, there are lots and lots of contradiction, its the spirit of the book that is supposed to counts.

    What is the bible really trying to tell us, to be good people, to take care of those less fortunate than yourselves and to live a full and happy life, helping others to do the same along the way, even if you don't agree with the way they live there lives, to try and be the best person you can be.

    Thats it, the whole thing, in just a few lines.

    Any one that deosn't see it that way, has really missed the point.
  8. googonz

    googonz Active Member

    Thanks for the support guys, I don't really know the situation I am in.
    I am going to say this even though I wanted to avoid it.

    I like looking at girls, and I like thinking about them, but I have trouble getting horniny off of them. And with guys, I can get horny off of them, but I don't really like lookingat them. I like to flirt with girls, and there are a few at my school that I have had huge crushes on, and we flirt with eachother all the time, but I don't know if I am sexually attracted to them yet.
    So basically, I am sexually attracted to guys, but I don't fall in LOVE with them, and I am not sexually attracted to girls, but I do fall in love with them. Do you think I am just going through some phase, because honestly, I would rather have sex with a woman than with a man. Could I just be overreacting, could I just be freaking out over nothing.

    I like girls, and I love their personalities, and the way they look.
    I am sexually attracted to guys but that is it -.-
  9. Fawx

    Fawx Member

    Well, also consider the possibility that you could be bi. I thought I was gay at your age, but as time went on, my attraction for girls got stronger while my attraction for guys was still there. I just kinda finally figured out that I was bi, and that clicked for me. That's the way it goes for a lot of bisexuals.

    There's absolutely nothing wrong with being gay/bi regardless, and don't ever let anyone tell you there is. It really is just a part of who you are. Just like how straight people are attracted to the opposite sex, that's just who they are.

    I know it can be rough with being around "Christians" and having to deal with these feelings, but just remember that there are other people you can vent these feelings out to, safely. Sometimes, that's all you need to build up the strength to not listen to the negative things people might say about it anymore. That's how I did it.

    I dunno, my advice: wait a little bit longer and see how things turn out. Try and get a better picture as to what you might be interested in and, above all, try and be as honest as you can with yourself.

    If you need support and you need to talk, you've got a good deal of people here who will listen. Just, no worries, eh? ;)