I think I'm getting closer and closer to my death.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Starkissed, Dec 22, 2008.

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  1. Starkissed

    Starkissed Member

    Life is getting harder and harder. It seems that nothing is really going right. Things are piling up and I feel like everything is out of my control. I lash out at people I love over little things. It hurts so much. Sometimes I think I'll snap and just end it.

    Right now the only reason I'm still here is because I'm afraid and I fear that I'll end up in Hell. Maybe I'll end up there anyway.

    I'm looking for reasons why I shouldn't end the misery.
     
  2. Øyvind

    Øyvind Senior Member

    There is no hell. Don't believe in horrible lies like that.
    I know that won't exactly stop you from killing yourself, but it might make you stop being afraid so much.
     
  3. mourningseraph

    mourningseraph Well-Known Member

    Please try to hang on. I know things are really tough for you right now. :sad: Maybe if you give it a few months things might start to turn around for the better. Is your family supportive? If they are maybe they can help relieve some of your stresses. I'm ALWAYS here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on. :hug:
     
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Starkissed. Only evil people will end up in hell, assuming it actually exists. I don't think you'll end up there. But what is causing you to feel so down and why are you lashing out at people? :hug:
     
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Sorry you feel things are so out of control. Do you know what may have brought these feelings on? Sometimes if you can get to the root of them, you can find ways to cope and get things back to where you can andle them. I hope you feel better about it soon. :hug:
     
  6. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    Ah, but your reasons to live are in your signature

    "Love is what keeps us alive"

    :hug:
     
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello Starkissed,

    Welcome to SF.

    I can relate to how you are feeling. When depression worsens, everything seems impossible. Please do not give up, never give up hun..life can always improve.
    We are all here for you :arms: I hope you feel better soon!
     
  8. levitated-one

    levitated-one Well-Known Member

    People like Adolf Hitler are evil.. but I think they're still given a chance, to re-incarnate and eventually get to heaven
     
  9. Starkissed

    Starkissed Member

    Thanks for all of the support, everyone. I'm really frustrated with my living situation. We have nine people living in a four bedroom house. My aunt and her two kids and my dad's friend moved in with my family of five. I get angry over little things like when I can't listen to loud music on a Friday night because my 1 year old cousin has to sleep. It's really selfish.

    I find that I get angry just looking at my dad's friend. I've fought with him quite a bit. He's so patronizing he's only 4 years older than me and he acts like he's soo much wiser than I am when he can't even take care of himself. Not that I could either because I'm still living at home.

    I want so much to move out of my parent's house but I'm so afraid of being alone. I feel like no one listens to me. I'm always saying "I want to die. I want to end it." because I mean it and I want them to actually hear it. I don't think they know what to do when I say things like that. I don't feel important enough to a lot of people. I've been walked on and stepped all over. Who hasn't?

    I don't have many friends and I can't get into an intimate relationship with anyone from the opposite sex. Men scare me and I think I know why. I pretty much live in fear. I have a lot of anxieties and I mean A LOT.

    Okay, so I'm rambling and I didn't even mean to say all of that...I'm sorry.
     
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You do not have to be sorry for sharing how you feel We do care and we are unable to offer you suggestions if we don't know what is going on.

    That is a lot of people to share space with. I understand how it feels to move relatives into your space. My sister moved in with her 3 kids and my family. There were 6 of us as I have 4 children of my own. We were in a three bedroom mobile home. There is no place to go to escape anything. Nothing is sacred. Is this arrangement for a short term or more permanent? What precipitated the move? I hope the situation is resolved in a manner that everyone can be happy with. Let us know how things progress for you.
     
  11. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello Starkissed,
    You have good reason to be cranky. You have alot to deal with on the home front. Do you see a shrink? If not do you have a family doctor?
    The reason I ask is they have meds that can help with your moods. Ask your doctor or shrink about Lamitcal. I take it for mood swings. I can tell it helps tremendously. Whenever I run short before my next refill I turn into insta prick. I snap at everyone for stupid shit. For instance I was washing dishes one day and my sister came in and said I wasn't doing a good job at it, well I turned on her and let her have it both barrels.
    She was only trying to help and I got pissed for her even mentioning it. Once I got my meds refilled and got back on it I mellowed right out and had to apologize to her. Check with your doctor or shrink it might help with your problem. Good Luck!!~Joseph~
     
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